Olympics 2022- The Sport Won’t Cripple You; The Food Will

Beijing- Feb. 2022

BS News Service- Yet another contingent of Olympic Athletes have succumbed to alimentary ailments from the Officially Sponsored food at the Winter Olympics. The number of accidents from falls, collisions, getting toes run over by curling stones, overdose of performance drugs in Russian athletes, and getting skewered by ski poles does not even begin to match the astronomical gastronomical incidents sending players to the Beijing hospitals from performers eating the sponsored food. 

Known for their often spartan and holistic diets the performers in the most famous sports event in the world were not at all ready for the barrage of junk food pushed by their sponsors upon them wanting them to convince viewers that sugary sodas, greasy hamburgers, devitalized pasta and bread products and other insults to the intestines could somehow be considered body building and athletic sustenance that would help one gain superior athletic abilities. Many of the partakers of the free samples sent out to their rooms to advertise their wares found their abilities crippled by the upset stomachs, headaches and sluggish feelings they got after dining on the wares. Some even suspect that Mainland Chinese figures were behind the glut of abominable things posing as food being foisted upon the naive athletes from around the world, especially when Chinese athletes were seen getting their food delivered by special, sleek, unmarked delivery limos  that only catered to their rooms. But of course that could never happen could it? Probably just a figment of our imaginations.

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