GLZORDSK, Freedonia. Plia Zlodrsk, the entertainer dubbed the “Freedonian Pepperpot,” died in her sleep last night after a brief illness according to a spokesman at St. Zligneth the Merciful Hospital. She was 72.
Zlodrsk in “Freedonian Space Mission 3000″
Zlodrsk first achieved notoriety as a member of the “Kicking Krew” on “Dance Dance This Afternoon,” a pioneering teen show modeled after American Bandstand on Nyet TV, the state-run television network. She caught the eye of director Melos Vlendrsk, who cast her in a series of romantic comedies set in Freedonian vacation spots such as “Road to Mlziensk” and “Zlandorsk Holiday!”
A younger, more swinginger Zlodrsk, as a regular on “Dance Dance This Afternoon!”
She evolved into a multi-talented singer and accomplished bongo player, at one point surprising bebop trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie by jumping on stage at a Voice of America Goodwill Tour concert to play an extended solo to “Night in Tunisia.” It was Gillespie who hung the “Freedonian Pepperpot” monicker on Zlodrsk after she misinterpreted his comment “Nice bongos” as a come-on and slapped him.
In later years she gravitated towards heavier roles comparable to Gloria Swanson’s portrayal of faded star Norma Desmond in Billy Wilder’s “Sunset Blvd.” As Glienski Zlovotny in “Collective Dairy Farm Dreams,” she uttered the line for which she is best known, “I am big, it is milking machines that got small!”
“Plia, you’re ool-ya-kool!–Diz”
She is survived by her second, fourth, and fifth husbands and her Pomeranian, Chou-chou. Funeral ceremonies will be private. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that contributions be made to the Institute for the Study of Freedonian Cinema and Tractor Parts.
Available in Kindle format on amazon.com as part of the collections “Fauxbituaries” and “Hail Freedonia!”