Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent Russian troops into Coney Island, a part of Brighton Beach New York, that has a large immigrant Russian population. Swarming ashore from submarines that covertly approached the beach they quickly took over all governmental buildings and the amusement park, where the soldiers commanders had to stop the soldiers from jumping on the rides there.
Putin declared that he was justified in this invasion as he felt that Russian citizens in the U.S. were being prejudiced against. “They have been in America for a generation already and still do not have the same lifestyle as the rest of Americans. Also, many Russian boys are thrown in prison for making gangs, stealing, extorting and shooting people. Why is this? They are only poor boys out trying to make a living. Police are picking on them!”
He also commented that “So many different type of people in area. Not really like white man United States. More like international community. So no problem if I annex it!”
New Yorkers’ reactions to this invasion varied.
“Coney Island? Hell, I haven’t been up there in years! I heard it went to the rats.” said John Downtowner.
“Russians huh. Well, better them than the Puerto Ricans. ‘I like it here in America….'” sang Peter Subway of the lower west side.
“Ha! The Russians can have it. It went to hell long ago. Even the Russians could probably improve upon it.” stated Mrs. Armbender of the Bronx.
“Russians? Not me man! I ain’t goin’ down there to stop it, not on your life! Them’s American Russians mafia is bad enough, now you gots real Russians comin’ out of subs? I’m stayin’ home with my Uzi behind a locked door!” exclaimed Saul Broadway, a SWAT team cop assigned to south New York disturbances.
After securing the area, the Russian soldiers, who did not wear insignias and tried to blend in by looking like street gangs, were shocked by the reality of the America they had long envisioned as being better than what they had back home.
“I tought dis would be ……I don know…….different.” stated many in really bad American accents learned from watching low budget American bootleg films and old TV shows. “I tought it would be like… um… you know….classier. Like ‘King of Queens’ or somthin'”.
“Yeah! Or like ‘All in The Family’. I no think it be dump like this!”
The Pentagon debated on retaliatory military action against the Russians, but considered the low value of Coney Island property and decided it wasn’t worth it.
US military Intelligence services suspect that Putin might try to take over Manhattan the way he did Crimea because it would make such a good submarine and battleship port.
President Biden has said that he wants to bring this matter before the UN, but Putin has already taken over that building too, claiming that since there is a Russian delegate there Russia can legally claim it as sovereign property. Plus he has installed intimidating long and short range missiles at Coney Island capable of reaching Long Island and Washington D.C. or even Cleveland should he want to.