Strawberry Glycerin Soap

½ pound fresh strawberries
1 teaspoon red mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
2 pounds glycerin soap base
1 teaspoon strawberry fragrance oil
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
­Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
Remove stems from strawberries. Puree strawberries and set aside. Add red mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter.
Cut glycerin base into 1″ cubes. Add glycerin base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 second. Stir after every time. Add red mica powder/ isopropyl mix and strawberry fragrance oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 2 minutes or until well blended.. (This inhibits strawberry bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add pureed strawberry. Mix with knife until well blended.
Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
1) If you arm your military with strawberry glycerin soap, it will smell nice. However, a nice scent never terrifies the enemy. If you make your strawberry soaps with nitroglycerin, they will explode with horrifying results. Indeed, culinary strategists believe the Pentagon is already mailing such soaps to America’s enemies. NGSSs, nitroglycerin soaps, are expected to work best on foes who place a premium on cleanliness.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.


Check out my novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on

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