The Truth Ain’t Out There Part II

In Part 2 of “The Truth Ain’t Out There,” Budleigh the Terrier continues his professional advice from a licensed dog on whether Canines believe in UFOs … or UFOs believe in Canines.


Investigators were unable to explain more than 140 cases of Unidentified Flying Objects (acronym: “UFO”) or Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (acronym: also “UFO”). Yet many encounters were reported by Naval aviators who have excellent vision, although a sadly inferior sense of smell.

While the report has created a stir among Giants, in dog parks across the nation Canines are abuzz with speculative concern:

GERMAN SCHNAUZER: “Look! I’m just saying that if they’re not aliens and they’re not foreign military, how do we know they’re not squirrels?”

PUG: “Squirrels climb trees. They can’t fly. Can they?”

GERMAN SCHNAUZER: “Who knows what they’re doing up there!”

CHOCOLATE LABRADOR: “I’ve heard they store stuff. And that they’re nuts!”

PUG: “No, no, no! They store … nuts! That’s all one thing.”

BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG: “You know where I’d store ‘em? Caves! Say, guess where you find caves!”

PUG: “We are not going there!”

BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG: (Snarling) “Your face is squished! And your coat is rough! Everybody says so.”

BUDLEIGH: “Stay focused, everyone. We’re discussing UFOs. Has anyone actually seen one?”

Much head turning and ear scratching. Bernese Mountain Dog leaps to feet.

BUDLEIGH: “—that wasn’t in a cave?”

Bernese Mountain Dog lies down, dejected.

BUDLEIGH: “C’mon, guys! Any sightings of the weird? The inexplicable? The eerie?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Well … there was that van that took Roxy the Boxer.”

PUG: “Who?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Before your time. Roxy had … issues.”

PIT BULL: “Society had the issues!”

PUG: “What sort of issues?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “He could be … argumentative.”

PUG: “With dogs?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Dogs, yes … yes…”

CHOCOLATE LAB: “—and Giants!”

STANDARD POODLE: “—also children!”

YORKSHIRE TERRIER: “—ice cream truck drivers!”

YELLOW LAB: “—anyone wearing yellow.”

DALMATIAN: “Or patterns.”

SHAR-PEI: “—wrinkles.”

ROTTWEILER: “—loud, piercing sounds and flashing lights.”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “One day, Roxy got in a disagreement with some schoolchildren. Actually, a busload of children.”

BEAGLE: “—then a firefighter.”

DALMATIAN: “—and several police officers.”

YORKSHIRE TERRIER: “—from surrounding towns.”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “That’s when a strange, featureless van appeared. And Roxy was mysteriously transported inside.”

ROTTWEILER: “More like forced. With ropes.”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Then the doors closed, and the vehicle zoomed away silently into the darkness.”

PIT BULL: “Well, except for the loud, piercing siren and flashing lights.”

ROTTWEILER “Yikes! Roxy wouldn’t have liked that!”

PUG: “Where did Roxy go?”

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: “Probably back to his home world.”

ROTTWEILER: “Or to a really, really nice farm!”

Sleeping Between Giants Book 2: Ask a Terrier: Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog

Twitter: @AskATerrier
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