Today, we have another excerpt from the very funny book from Dave Jaffe Sleeping Between Giants Book 2: Ask a Terrier: Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog
(STAY TUNED FOR PART II OF THIS CHAPTER ON THURSDAY)
Find Dave Jaffe here:
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So, like, UFOs? Does this new Pentagon declassified report on unidentified flying objects
reveal any threats to Dillie, my Greyhound? I’ve watched “Alien” like a dozen times, so
you can be straight with me. Is Dillie in danger?
Oh, and Humanity?
Eyes on the Skies in Michigan. And Dillie!
Dear Eyes and Dillie,
I was eager to scrutinize this long-anticipated, highly technical report on Unidentified
Aerial Phenomena. My initial impressions were that it was written on paper that shredded
easily, but was very chewy.
For a deeper dive, I had my unpaid intern Per Se actually read the nine-page report,
which he did with a speed and professionalism borne of having thumbs. In his
PowerPoint, Per Se outlined the report’s conclusions: the U.S. government doesn’t know
what these UFOs are or if they’re extraterrestrial.
Also, why the report is so chewy.
Such dubious results will disappoint UFO and alien spacecraft enthusiasts, many of
whom consider “Independence Day” a documentary.
“In a universe so big, so grand,” they ask, “why couldn’t other intelligent life exist? Also,
where’s the remote and are we out of Doritos?”
All reasonable questions. Yet, so typically Giant-centric! They fail to focus on the main
issue. If it’s difficult for Giants to identify objects in the sky, what with all their Science
and PowerPoints and chewy paper, imagine how much more baffling for Canines. We
barely recognize the stuff we eat off the floor.
TO BE CONTINUED…