In a lawsuit filed in federal court on Tuesday, the American Mathematical Society claims that the Big 10 Conference “is a major contributor to the astonishing level of numerical illiteracy that currently plagues our nation.”
According to AMS President Bryna Kra, “there is no universe in which 18 schools equals 10 schools. For the love of God, just rename yourselves the Enormous 18.”
In response, Big 10 Commissioner Tony Petitti told reporters, “Pardon my French, but ask me if I give a flying f**k if 18 equals 10. All I know is that the TV money our conference is raking in these days is giving me a woody the size of a sequoia.”
In a related story, the National Geographic Society, on behalf of the Pacific Ocean, is suing Stanford University for joining the Atlantic Coast Conference.