Because of the wide range of topics covered by Gerbil News Network, and deadline pressures that limit average research time per story to thirty seconds surfing the internet, errors of fact or emphasis are sometimes made. Note the passive voice–it’s not like wemade them. Alien life forms in the THX 1138 spiral galaxy caused them. Gerbil News Network welcomes information that corrects or amplifies stories that we publish–just don’t get snippy about it, okay?
A story in the September 9th edition of Gerbil News Network stated that the song “Love Child” by Martha and the Vandellas was based on the life of former Supreme Court Justice David Souter, the illegitimate offspring of actress Debbie Reynolds and the Keebler Cookie elf.
“Love Child” was sung by Diana Ross and the Supremes, not Martha and the Vandellas. Gerbil News Network deeply regrets its error.
A graphic in the September 15th edition suggested that all fifty states have adopted Komodo Dragon leash laws due to the threat such giant lizards pose to children and small animals.
Missouri and New Hampshire, two states in which the sale of fireworks is legal, do not currently have Komodo Dragon leash laws, although owners are required to carry “Pooper Scoopers” while walking them in such states.
In a story about performance-enhancing drug use by Major League Baseball players, Barry Bonds was referred to as the “pumpkin-headed, steroid-swilling, former infielder for the San Francisco Giants.” Mr. Bonds is a pumpkin-headed, steroid-swilling, former outfielder for the San Francisco Giants.
Because of incorrect information provided to Gerbil News Network by WGBH Channel 2, a public television station located in Boston, ratings figures for several high-toned programs based on British novels were misstated. “Bleak House” averaged 3.1 viewers per episode, not 3.1 million, and “Jane Eyre” averaged 5.1 viewers per episode, not 5.1 million.
Because of a reporting error, a story about a drive-by shooting misidentified a club known for drug dealing, loud parties and fighting as The Country Club in Newton, Massachusetts, the oldest country club in America. The Country Club is located in Brookline, Massachusetts. We regret any confusion this error may have caused.
In the Labor Day Weekend “Lifestyles” pullout section Camilla Parker Bowles was referred to as the 2005 Horse of the Year. “Rocknroll Hanover” was the 2005 Horse of the Year, while Ms. Bowles was 2005 Filly of the Year. Gerbil News Network apologizes to Mr. Hanover for its error.