On Wednesday, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) announced that the amount of human excrement contained in the rationalizations offered by Congressional Republicans for the President’s recent Executive Actions has reached levels that pose a serious threat to public health in the United States.
According to Susan Monarez, Acting Director of the CDC, “the risk of Americans contracting cholera, typhoid fever, and hepatitis is greater now than it has been in over 20 years due to all the s__t coming out of the mouths of Republican Senators and Representatives in DC. I urge everyone to mute their TVs and streaming devices whenever one of these stomach-churning sycophants is talking. Once those poopy cooties burst through the screen and burrow into your navel, it’s game over.”