Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves.
This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep.
I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.
I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter.
I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.
I want a billion people to know my name as well as they know their own. I want to clone myself to fame.
I want to get the words “Courage” and “Bravery” tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me.
If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds.
Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face.
I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe […]