When Mythical Creatures Fight Back

By: Jolante van Hemert

I recently watched a nature program or some mock version of a nature program professing the reality of mermaids and the possibility that they may exist. Over 3-million viewers watched as computer generated mermaids swam with dolphins and sharks, gliding quickly across the screen at blink-of-an-eye speed. It had viewers convinced that mermaids were real. Due to the overwhelming phone calls and emails reporting mermaid sightings Homeland Security had to put out a statement that it was a CGI concept of mermaids and was in fact not real.

Now folks I’m not saying I blame them. They looked real to me. But hey, after a couple of drinks I swore I saw Bigfoot doing the cha-cha on a pool table or maybe it was my husband in Speedos, however, I digress.

With all this being said it made me think about how (if creatures of this sort really do exist) these mythical creature explain to other mythical creature the news media portrayal of them. On one of my alcohol-assisted hikes I stumbled upon a group of said creatures hanging out at a campsite ranting about their distain of our media coverage.

Bigfoot: “I can’t believe they think unicorns exist! But I have to admit for a while I thought they did. Last week I swore I saw a large animal flying across a corn field.  Then I found out it was a local  farmer’s dumbass bull that had lost one of his horns trying to mate with a tree stump!”

The Jersey Devil: “That’s funny BF! Oh, and just last week I saw a merman wash up on the beach in Atlantic City with mangy, oily, blonde hair. I later realized it was Donald Trump sunbathing on a rock, LOL.”

Mermaid: “Merman, you guys have been drinking too much salt water! There’s no such thing as Merman. However, I can understand how someone would mistake my cousin Sylvia as a dude before my fire-breathing dragon buddy got too close to her, sneezed and shingled her mustache off, ha-ha.”

Grey Alien: “All of you are so full of crap! You wanna talk about mythical creatures. On my home planet we’ve got Republicans who support Free Health Care. Talk about mythical, lol!”

As you can see, mythical creatures are getting pretty pissed off at these quasi- nature- shows continuing to confuse the gullible couch potato.

However, one never knows – they could exist. So try not to poke fun at them or your name could be added to a long list of skeptics who don’t believe in The Tooth Fairy, Keebler Elves or the Lucky Charms Leprechaun, all of which have yet to be debunked.

 

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6 thoughts on “When Mythical Creatures Fight Back”

    1. Yes Mario he is and rest assured even though he is hurting for cash due to them lowering the sugar content he will never make his wife to turn Trix.

  1. Donald Trump sunbathing is an image that will haunt my nightmares and I have nightmares about the fear of Stephanie Meyer continuing to write.

    1. Yes Donald Trump in speedos is what horror films are made of and I still have uncontrollable night sweats believing E.L James is a published author (shivers. . . .)

  2. ROFLMAO! This is hilarious!

    (By the way, you forgot to include Santa Claus.)

    1. I would have Kathy but from what I’ve heard through the Mythical Creature’s grapevine he’s still in the Witness Protection Program for leaving Joey-bag-of-doughnuts coal in his stocking.

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