Me: You can’t eat Hershey’s Kisses for breakfast. 4-year-old: But I put them in a cereal bowl. Me: 4: Me: You win this round.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2014
[in the grocery store] Me: *picks up jar of honey* 4-year-old: If you buy it, bears will break in and eat us. Me: 4: Me: *puts it back*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2014
2-year-old: She bit me! 4-year-old: She put her fingers in my mouth! 2: I had to get my gum back! If you need me, I’ll be drinking.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2014
4-year-old: Why do you put hamburger meat in the freezer? Me: So it stays good. 4: If you don’t, will it turn back into a cow?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2014
I told the photographer for our family pictures to use Photoshop to make us look better. He replaced me with a tree stump.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyrZqw5 6/12/14: pic.twitter.com/UmbEBqO0k4
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) December 2, 2014