The Weaponization Slush Fund…
Category: Fiction
The Curse of the Decorating Zombies
If, like me, you live with my wife, you know the pain endured by men married to women whose principal mode of creative expression–apart from adult ballet classes, and I use the term “ballet” advisedly–is […]
Me and My Parrot Walk Into a Bar
Lewis Rosensteil, head of Schenley Distillers, once had 5,000 parrots trained to say “Drink Old Quaker” bourbon, then gave them to bartenders. The Wall Street Journal, review of “Empire: The Past and Future of America’s […]
What We Talk About When We Talk About Photosynthesis
Minimalist/realist short-story writer Raymond Carver was fired from his job as an editor of science textbooks because of his inappropriate writing style. Wikipedia Photosynthesis is an important process. I mean it’s extremely important. It’s the […]
U. S. Seeks to Arrest Fidel Castro for “Facial-Hair Malfeasance”
Having recently charged 94-year-old Cuban leader Raúl Castro with murder, the United States plans to put his deceased brother, Fidel, on trial in June for sporting an unkempt beard that it alleges was a “crime […]
Writing Coach Helps Tyros Forget Past They Never Knew
SOMERVILLE, Mass. When asked her age, Maggie Turbek doesn’t duck the question so much as turn it into the sort of ironic understatement that characterized her youthful literary efforts. “Let’s just say,” she tells this […]
Keep on Noodling: A Salute to America’s Handfishers
Give a man a fish, goes the Chinese proverb, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will bore you to tears on summer Mondays with an account of how he […]