The longer the odds, the farther they jump. This is the story of many when it comes to wagering. Some people will bet on anything with or without a pulse if there are good odds involved. Don’t get me wrong; I am not averse to betting. I sometimes enjoy it in a legal sort of way. I like video poker, and I have been known to win a Super Bowl pool or two, and this is my claim to fame: I picked the Kentucky Derby 17 years in a row. Yes, it’s true. I blew my own streak by not watching the race during the 18th year because the pressure to pick the winner was getting too much for me. I found out people were betting on my say so.
Anyway, even without my horse racing prowess, which pretty much involves me looking at the horse and deciding if he or she looks nervous or not, I have come to appreciate the work of bookies. I don’t use them; I just understand their value. They provide a great service in that human beings will always bet, and if someone is willing to wager on a sports event, a race, cards, casino games or the finding of a UFO, someone should be there covering the action.
Yes, you read correctly: the finding of a UFO. In June of 2011, a group of Swedish treasure hunters received a sonar hit from a circular object that is located about 285 feet below the Baltic Sea in between Sweden and Finland. So Ireland’s largest bookmaker and a leading provider of gaming services in the UK, Australia and Ireland, Paddy Power has decided to enter into talks with a Swedish ocean exploration team to sponsor an expedition to uncover what is lying beneath the ocean.
The interest in the maybe UFO has been growing each day. At present, Paddy Power has received thousands of requests from clients and interested parties to place odds on what is hidden in the ocean depths. Because of its perfect circular shape that has a diameter of more than 190 feet, some experts want to bet it’s a UFO and Paddy Power is there to help determine the odds. In fact, in the last two weeks, the odds for proving the discovery of alien life have dropped from 40 to 1 to 20 to 1. I wonder if there are separate odds on the likelihood of the exploration team finding alien bodies inside the cylindrical anomaly.
I think Paddy Power could use another tool in its arsenal when it comes to betting on the UFO. It should consult with the Web Bot Project which is now all the rage when it comes to predictions in the modern world. Developed by two software engineers, the Web Bot Project was designed in the late 1990s to predict stock market movement. How it works is like this: A system of spiders combs the internet much like a search engine and looks for words, terms, phrases etc. The terms and words are filtered and analyzed, etc. (Let me say right here and now that I know this is a very simplified explanation, so all the engineers and IT people out there, don’t pounce at my third-grade definition). The Web Bot has supposedly predicted 9/11, the Columbia Shuttle explosion and the Japanese Tsunami. What some people fail to note on this prognostication tool is that it has had some major misses as well, so the odds are pretty good that the language-based program will be right sometimes and wrong sometimes – in other words, it’s a crap shoot what it gets right.
I know the end of the world hounds think the Web Bot is “the tool” for predicting the future, but let’s remember all the other tools that have come our way and fallen flat on their faces – for example, The Bible Code and Nostradamus. It’s so much easier to find patterns that fit predictions after an event happens.
That being said, I bet Paddy Power could make a killing playing these odds based on Web Bot info. I should send them an email and tell them to consult with each other. If I put the bookie and the bot people together, do you think I get a cut of their profits?
Just for giggles, I am going to look into the action (as Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando say in Guys and Dolls) on the UFO in the Baltic Sea thing. Maybe I can make a few bucks. Who knows, I might need the extra dough to build my rocket ship and escape the end of the world in which everyone except the Rapture people know is in 2012.
http://aphroditeastrology.com/2007/05/web-bot-project-and-2012.html
I’ll bet it’s all the socks that disappear from the dryer.
You laugh, Jack, but that would be a great discovery! 🙂
Maybe Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, and Samuel L. Jackson are down there?
I thought if there were going to be aliens they would all look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt. What a shame if they look like Larry Fein.