When I took my kids to see the movie Hop a few weeks ago, I thought I already knew everything there was to know about Easter. Twelve years of Catholic school had taught me that Easter was much more than pretty spring dresses, chocolate bunnies, brightly colored eggs, jelly beans, and baskets lined with plastic grass. Easter egg hunts are fun (unless the eggs sit out in the sun too long and all the chocolate melts) and meeting the Easter Bunny at the mall is always a treat (unless you’re terrified of giant bunnies in bow ties like any normal person) and Easter dinner is delicious (unless your relatives are lousy cooks or you’re a vegan who insists on eating some kind of tofu substitute for ham), but forget all that stuff. Just forget it. Let’s focus on the reason for the season: the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Which brings me back to the movie Hop.
Jesus does make an appearance in Hop. Did you see him?
My kids weren’t paying any attention to Jesus while watching Hop, though. They were too busy learning all the Easter Bunny’s secrets. Thanks to Hop, my kids and I now know that the Easter Bunny is exactly like Santa Claus, only instead of elves he has chicks (but not the hot-girl kind); and instead of reindeer to pull his sleigh (yes, the Easter Bunny has a sleigh, too), he has even more chicks—hundreds of cute, yellow, fuzzy chicks that turn evil sometimes. Instead of hiding out in the North Pole like Santa, the Easter Bunny has an underground lair on Easter Island. Duh! We should’ve known!
One part in Hop that really confused me was when Cyclops from the X-Men movie decided to become the Easter Bunny. That made no sense. Maybe if he were a mutant who was half rabbit I’d believe it, but he’s not. He’s a freak who shoots lasers out of his eyes. Admittedly, the laser-eyes might help him fry up some Easter eggs whenever he gets hungry, but how are his laser-eyes going to help him deliver chocolate bunnies and jelly beans to all the kids in the world? What if his laser-eyes accidentally roast all the flying chicks pulling his Easter sleigh?
I suppose if Cyclops screws things up, it’s okay because E.B., the Easter Bunny’s rebellious son, decides he can be a drummer and the co-Easter Bunny. E.B., like Jesus, can do anything. He can drum, poop jelly beans, and marry Katy Perry.
Maybe I missed the point of the movie. Hoppy, Happy Easter!