“Hop” Teaches Kids Important Facts About Easter | HumorOutcasts

“Hop” Teaches Kids Important Facts About Easter

April 19, 2011
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When I took my kids to see the movie Hop a few weeks ago, I thought I already knew everything there was to know about Easter. Twelve years of Catholic school had taught me that Easter was much more than pretty spring dresses, chocolate bunnies, brightly colored eggs, jelly beans, and baskets lined with plastic grass. Easter egg hunts are fun (unless the eggs sit out in the sun too long and all the chocolate melts) and meeting the Easter Bunny at the mall is always a treat (unless you’re terrified of giant bunnies in bow ties like any normal person) and Easter dinner is delicious (unless your relatives are lousy cooks or you’re a vegan who insists on eating some kind of tofu substitute for ham), but forget all that stuff. Just forget it. Let’s focus on the reason for the season: the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Which brings me back to the movie Hop.

Embed from Getty Images

Jesus does make an appearance in Hop. Did you see him?

My kids weren’t paying any attention to Jesus while watching Hop, though. They were too busy learning all the Easter Bunny’s secrets. Thanks to Hop, my kids and I now know that the Easter Bunny is exactly like Santa Claus, only instead of elves he has chicks (but not the hot-girl kind); and instead of reindeer to pull his sleigh (yes, the Easter Bunny has a sleigh, too), he has even more chicks—hundreds of cute, yellow, fuzzy chicks that turn evil sometimes. Instead of hiding out in the North Pole like Santa, the Easter Bunny has an underground lair on Easter Island. Duh! We should’ve known!

One part in Hop that really confused me was when Cyclops from the X-Men movie decided to become the Easter Bunny. That made no sense. Maybe if he were a mutant who was half rabbit I’d believe it, but he’s not. He’s a freak who shoots lasers out of his eyes. Admittedly, the laser-eyes might help him fry up some Easter eggs whenever he gets hungry, but how are his laser-eyes going to help him deliver chocolate bunnies and jelly beans to all the kids in the world? What if his laser-eyes accidentally roast all the flying chicks pulling his Easter sleigh?

I suppose if Cyclops screws things up, it’s okay because E.B., the Easter Bunny’s rebellious son, decides he can be a drummer and the co-Easter Bunny. E.B., like Jesus, can do anything. He can drum, poop jelly beans, and marry Katy Perry.

Maybe I missed the point of the movie. Hoppy, Happy Easter!

 

Maria Roth

My kids call me Mommy. My friends call me Maria. I don't have any enemies because I'm perfect in every way. I prefer Donald Duck over Mickey Mouse and Daffy Duck over Bugs Bunny, but ducks aren't my favorite animal. I dream of writing a novel that outsells TWILIGHT. How hard can it be?

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11 Responses to “Hop” Teaches Kids Important Facts About Easter

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    April 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    You went to Catholic school for 12 years? I got out after 11 years! I still go to church, though, so it “took.”

  2. Theresa Wiza
    April 25, 2011 at 9:22 am

    My grandchildren and I spent Easter evening watching Secretariat, the Easter horse. 😉

  3. April 23, 2011 at 7:18 am

    Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!

    • Elizabeth Dickinson
      April 23, 2011 at 9:29 am

      You can follow me Elizabeth Dickinson on FB. And I did just put up a HumorOutcasts.com fan page too. Thanks so much!
      Betsy

  4. April 22, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Thanks for an idea, you sparked at thought from a angle I hadn’t given thoguht to yet. Now lets see if I can do something with it.

  5. jaipi
    April 21, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    good one!

  6. Allene Newberg Bilodeau
    April 20, 2011 at 11:43 am

    Loved your article, Maria! Makes me glad I don’t have any kids young enough to want to see it, cuz that sounds like one convoluted weeeeeird movie!

  7. Notherhubby
    April 19, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    I know some people will be upset by your Jesus reference, because to some, Russell Brand is GOD.

  8. Mary Oberg
    April 19, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    ‘Hop’ sounds like a scary movie for the littlest kids! I’m glad your kids and all the cousins liked this movie! I bet they all liked the ‘poop’ jelly beans!

  9. April 19, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    The juxtaposition of Cyclops lasers and fragile chocolate bunnies has me very concerned! Please tell me that the bunnies weren’t hurt (except in the normal, chewing manner)!

  10. April 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    So Jesus married Katy Perry? Oh, no. I got it. LOL I’m just joshing just to stir up trouble. I guess the Easter Bunny won’t bring me candy for that remark. And as I look at your bio, you can write Twilight. That chick wrote it from a dream and frankly, the books aren’t even that good. You can do so much better!!!! I’ll be your first customer.



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