Six Signs Your Significant Other is Cheating | HumorOutcasts

Six Signs Your Significant Other is Cheating

June 7, 2011
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How can you tell if your significant other is cheating? These six signs will tell the tale for them.

  1. They stop caring if they fart in front of you, and actually make every attempt to only fart around you. (This is especially true if you’re dating a woman)
  2. During acts of sexual intercourse, they refuse to look you in the eye, choosing instead to hyper-focus their attention on that weird spot on your left thigh. (What the fuck is that thing anyway?)
  3. They say, “Hey, James, I’m cheating on you with your best friend Leopold. And he’s got a way better penis than you, and doesn’t smell like Swiss cheese.”
  4. Pretending to not hear you when you ask them “Hey, are you cheating on me by chance?”
  5. They have little notes written on their shoes, and stuffed into the sleeves of their jacket.
  6. They stop faking their orgasms. (This is especially true if you’re dating a man)

James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, musician, bumblebee. You can find James' collective works spread like seed into the Internet. Specifically you can find him on Yahoo! TV, Yahoo! Sports, Associated Content, Into the Garbage Chute, Kneel Before POD and The JamboPlex.

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6 Responses to Six Signs Your Significant Other is Cheating

  1. June 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Well, yeah, these are good signs. LOL Very funny

  2. Jack Sass
    June 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    I think number six would be a damn good sign!

  3. June 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    7. You see Leopold penetrating your significant other. And your name isn’t Leopold.

  4. June 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Sign seven: You check your credit card statement to see a charge from Planned Parenthood… even though you haven’t had sex with her in two months.

    Damn it… that hits a little too close to home. 🙁

    • June 7, 2011 at 6:29 pm

      She may have just bought several gross of condoms… Wait, yeah, I guess that would be a clue, wouldn’t it?

      • June 7, 2011 at 7:59 pm

        What’s more likely, Eric?

        (1) She just bought 2000 condoms
        (2) She just paid for a cleaning and associated disposal

        🙁



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