Aliens are listening in on us. They have been doing decades of research to determine exactly which earthlings possess the greatest intelligence on the planet. Once this is determined, they will begin the process of abducting and experimenting on these geniuses. They were just about ready to snag a guy named Steve Jobs, but now they have settled on who they have deduced must be the smartest people on earth.
I caught up with one of our nefarious visitors recently, and was able to ask a few questions and jot down a few quotes.
“It is obvious to us… a ‘no-brainer’, you earthlings might say”, explained one chuckling alien, “that only the most intelligent specimens would reproduce the most. We follow this religiously on our planet, and this has produced a race of beings who can now do 1 million calculations per second in our heads. I bet YOU can’t do that!,” he giggled.
That giggle changed to a maniacal laugh as he went on…”Now excuse me while I go and extract all of your world’s knowledge from the brains of … MICHELLE AND JIM BOB DUGGAR!”
Damn Eric! this is skyrocketing! Nicely done