Dear Ryan Gosling, Please Break Up With Eva

Ryan Gosling has been in the news recently because he allegedly got Evan Mendes pregnant.  He hasn’t denied it but I won’t believe it until the DNA test is complete.  Even then, I’m sure she […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 5/7/14

Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” taught kids it’s OK to kill two women as long as they’re ugly and no one likes them. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 7, 2014 I ate a whole […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 2/26/14

Me: How was daycare? 3-year-old daughter: My friend pooped his pants on purpose. I like him. Girls always go for the bad boys. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 26, 2014 Wife: It’s unrealistic how Pokemon […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 11/16/13

Wife: Does this shirt make me look pregnant? Me: No, it makes you look fat. Just once, it’d be nice if my brain and mouth worked together. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, […]

Share this Post:

Things that should be on Kim Kardashian’s baby registry

Unless you live in a cave without internet access*, and/or you do something more productive than peruse gossip magazines while waiting in line at the grocery store, you know by now that Kim Kardashian is […]

Share this Post: