Skinny People and Fat People
In this world, there are skinny people and fat people. Personally, I don’t believe that physical appearance has one single thing to do with whether you are a fat person or a skinny person. I […]
Tag: fat
Let’s see who measures up, shall we?
I noticed a weird bruise on my arm last week on Thursday. By Friday it had morphed into something that looked like a bear climbing a tree. It didn’t hurt. I had no recollection of […]
The Secret Fat Diary
I’m fat. I’m not pleasingly plump, womanly or plus sized. I’m fat. F-a-t. Fat. Period. Okay. I am big and beautiful. But that’s as far as I’ll go with the euphemisms. If it weren’t for […]
Hip to be square?
Is it really hip to be square? If so, I have the perfect body type for once. If only it was hip to have double chins. I’d be the hippest girl in […]
Unicorn Bites 5/7/14
Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” taught kids it’s OK to kill two women as long as they’re ugly and no one likes them. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 7, 2014 I ate a whole […]
Unicorn Bites 11/16/13
Wife: Does this shirt make me look pregnant? Me: No, it makes you look fat. Just once, it’d be nice if my brain and mouth worked together. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, […]
A liar and a t-shirt
I just saw a woman wearing a shirt that just said “Gorgeous.” That woman is most certainly a liar. It would have been believable had her shirt said “I love Cheetos and have […]
Why are we all screaming?
We might all scream for ice cream, but I scream the loudest because I fricking love ice cream and I’m also super competitive. Either way, I’m proud to be an ice cream screamer, even if […]
Moderate Max Mollifies My Musings About Elvis
The anniversary of Elvis’s death is a week off but my former neighbor Crazy Lyle has insisted for years Elvis isn’t really dead. But then, who is buried in his grave? When burdened with such […]