Sure Fire Hack to a Flatter Stomach

Face it, society puts a lot of pressure on us to look thin. Many of us are overweight, including me. How do we get thinner? By exercising and dieting.

But those options are hard, take a lot of time to see results, and frankly, not fun at all. If only there were a way to become thinner without any effort at all.

Now, there is such a way.

We only have to face the correct way from the moon and our stomachs will flatten.

IT’S THAT EASY!!!!!!!!

You may skip the following scientific explanation if you’re absolutely gung ho to go outside* and flatten your stomach

* * = You don’t even to do this to thin your stomach. The moon’s gravitational field works everywhere you go. IT’S AMAZING!!

Anyway, the moon’s gravitational pull produces a tidal force. This force makes Earth’s oceans bulge out on the sides closest  and farthest to the moon. These ocean bulges are high tides. (You learn something every day.) Basically, the moon makes the Earth get fatter.


So, how does this help our big bellies?

Face away FROM the moon* at night


Face in the SAME direction as the moon in the day time.

IT’S THAT SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!

Do this all the time and people will be throwing themselves at your magnificent body, you Greek god/goddess you.

* = Admittedly, the moon is often easier to see at night.

And look!!! The man on the left is facing the incorrect way.  The SAME man on the right, however, is facing the correct way.








– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.


Check out my novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on

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One thought on “Sure Fire Hack to a Flatter Stomach”

  1. If anyone says this is not a million % true, they are telling a big fat lie.

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