A liar and a t-shirt
I just saw a woman wearing a shirt that just said “Gorgeous.” That woman is most certainly a liar. It would have been believable had her shirt said “I love Cheetos and have […]
Tag: fat
Why are we all screaming?
We might all scream for ice cream, but I scream the loudest because I fricking love ice cream and I’m also super competitive. Either way, I’m proud to be an ice cream screamer, even if […]
Moderate Max Mollifies My Musings About Elvis
The anniversary of Elvis’s death is a week off but my former neighbor Crazy Lyle has insisted for years Elvis isn’t really dead. But then, who is buried in his grave? When burdened with such […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember
You’re only as fat as you feel, and I feel like having more ice cream. It’s hot outside, and the body needs to be cooled, preferably with something that tastes good. Pizza contains protein and […]
The Massively Happy Bride
There lives in a house, a friend of Scurvy Jane’s. She planned her marriage with the tactical awareness of a North Korean nuclear test. If you’re one of these people who plans for every eventuality, […]
Exercise? Who, Me?
Living a life of lazy, indulgent pleasure is a lot of fun, at least for those of us who would rather use our minds than our muscles. That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it. […]
Some people are a law unto themselves
We don’t all get restraining orders taken out against us for stalking Bon Jovi for reasons of non-love but a lot of us have had dealings with the law. Some of these dealings are for […]