Our Chilluns Isn’t Learnins Stuffs

"Doy Doy Doy Doy"

This new survey scares me, because I want today’s kids to get SMARTER, faster. After all, they’re going to be ccooking up my fries and doing my dry cleaning one day. So, I want them to be competent.

This survey comes out of here in England, but I’m sure it applies everywhere. A company called MyTutor surveyed 1,000 kids ages 10 to 12, and here’s what they found…

33% can’t do division or basic algebra.

27% could not add up £2.36 and £1.49 without a calculator.

22% didn’t know the difference between the different forms of there, they’re and their.

33% couldn’t identify an adverb. (Those are the EASY ones to identify.  Just look for the word that ends in ‘-ly’, kids.  Using shortcuts to get around having actual knowledge is the ultimate sign of intelligence.)

And 42% couldn’t spell the word ‘secretaries’.

The survey also found that 48% of parents think their kid is worse at math than they were at that age, and 36% think their kid is worse at English.

But….ONLY 30% of parents spend more time helping their kids with homework and answering questions than their parents did.  59% of parents spend less than an hour a week helping their kids learn.

So, the moral of the story? Put down the joint, hide Daddy’s ‘special folder’ for a while…say, 15 years, and GET JUNIOR THROUGH SCHOOL!

I have a LOT of dry-clean-only suit jackets.


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