There Are No “Words With Friends” — At Least for Me | HumorOutcasts

There Are No “Words With Friends” — At Least for Me

January 30, 2012

An outcast – that is what I am.  While my husband and daughter playfully “Word” each other during the day, I am out of the loop because I own a Blackberry.  Sure, this Blackberry is better than my pink razor phone which lasted five years until it took an unceremonious swim in the washing machine, but it was a hand me down from my daughter when she switched to the iPhone, and as smart as the Blackberry is, it doesn’t play  “Words”.  I know some might say, “So what? It’s a stupid game.”

But it’s not just a game. “Words with Friends” is a social activity which, as its name implies, tells you that you have friends. Blackberry people don’t have friends. Sure, they have a similar game on their system, but I only know two other Blackberry people now, and I am unsure if I want to make more connections to any new Blackberry people because most are jumping ship to the iPhone or Droid or something similar faster than I can text “It’s not fair!”  They say it’s for better apps, but I know the real reason: they want to play “Words”; they want that sense of belonging.

I know what will happen if I take part in the Blackberry version of this game.  I will join a Words-Wannabe network, and then they will all leave me for Apple and I will be the last one left manning the Scrabble board. Scrabble solitaire is depressing and offers no challenge. I might not be the most valuable tile on the board when it comes to intelligence, but I think I can outwit myself with some kind of strategy without much difficulty.

I think what bothers me most about  not being invited to play the real “Words” game , is that  I sort of feel rejected. I am not in a club that many people have entrance too.  Usually, I handle rejection well. After all, I am a writer; rejection is an everyday part of my life, but when my own family won’t let me in to their game — well, it hurts.  How ungrateful are they? I keep this house buzzing. I do laundry and clean and slave over a microwave most nights and for what?  To be told I am not allowed to play their game?

Honestly, I think they are afraid; I think they know that if I get the iPhone on my next upgrade I will crush them into the ground. I will make them rue the day they tried to compete with me in any vocabulary game. Yes, I think they fear my word knowledge.  I will even go one step forward: I think they are purposely stealing my cell phone upgrades to keep me out of their game.  What kind of family do I have anyway?  I think I need to take some drastic action.  Who do these Words Snobs think they are?

Well, no more Ms. Nice Guy. I am going to keep track of my upgrade and not tell them when I get my iPhone. Then, I’m going to surprise them and start playing “Words with Friends” with strangers.  I will form my own game network and not invite them to play. Then, at dinner when my iPhone bings with a new word, they will look at each other in puzzled disbelief knowing that I have friends too who want to play with only me.

Okay, there is a possibility that I am being too sensitive over this whole “Words” game business.  It might not be that they are purposefully trying to keep me out of their iPhone world.  It could be that it is just the way the cell phone world is right now. They are on the inside; I am not.  They have iPhone friends; I do not.  They have “Words with Friends” to play on their phone and I have Bejeweled.   Damn, I want a new phone, and if I can’t have that right now, I at least want a new family until I can get a new phone.


I just found out that social media understands my plight. Recently, Facebook introduced an app for Words with Friends, but it still does not let my family off the hook.


Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books ( As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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10 Responses to There Are No “Words With Friends” — At Least for Me

  1. February 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Mary is getting a little jealous now that I got an Android phone AND a 10″ tablet for Christmas (That Santa guy really understands me)!

    • February 2, 2012 at 4:10 pm

      Wow, Santa really does get you. Is Santa an engineer? I guess that is plausible since he has to navigate that sled to go around the world in less than 24 hours.

  2. February 1, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    “I do laundry and clean and slave over a microwave…” Subtle, but funny.

    • February 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      ah, that didn’t escape you Eric. HA HA! Most men it would. Very good!

  3. Deb Martin-Webster
    February 1, 2012 at 9:40 am

    And that is why I downloaded Angry Birds to my Kindle Fire!! The ONLY way my family can play is if I allow them to play, muuuuuaaaaaahhhhh, eh, that’s my evil villain laugh . . .

    • February 1, 2012 at 9:01 pm

      HA HA I expect nothing less from you Deb! Long live Deb and her monopoly on Angry Birds! LOL

  4. January 31, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Hey, you think YOU have problems, I don’t even have a smart phone. Yes, it’s true, I’m phoneless. heh.

    • January 31, 2012 at 10:30 pm

      Sometimes, Phee, that is the best way to be. So much more peaceful! Thanks for stopping by as always! 🙂

  5. Kathy Minicozzi
    January 30, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    You tell ’em! Let them know just how much they have made you suffer, and boy will they be sorry!

    • January 30, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      I plan on making them suffer! What fun would it be if they had no discomfort or guilt in this? Thanks for the support, Kathy HA HA!

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