Who Needs a Five Dollar Banana Peeler?

How lazy have we become?   I know that this sounds like a rhetorical question, but I am going to answer it anyway.  In my lifetime, technology has given us so many ways to save time and effort. Not only do we have products that are time convenient, but we have products that are brain convenient as well. We rarely have to figure anything out anymore.  Everything we need to exist is literally at our fingertips. We have transitioned from a world where minute rice, tea bags and instant coffee were once considered gifts from the gods to a world where the Internet,  microwaves, universal TV remotes, iPods, iPads and anything else Apple rule. And now another major advancement , the banana peeler.

Yes, the banana peeler because people need an extra hand in peeling a banana.  Honestly?  We need a savvy kitchen tool to help us peel a banana?  In case you are wondering, it is not an electronic device that shocks the banana into shedding its skin. It’s a clip, shaped like a monkey face, that is placed on the top of a banana and when the clip is pulled, it forces the top of the banana backwards and off.  Okay, right now every man in the world is cringing at this imagery, and for the record, this is not a sex toy; it’s truly a banana peeler and I don’t think it’s interchangeable like massagers – although I cannot swear to that because I haven’t bought the peeler – or  the massager – I swear.

Allow me to just move on, okay? Who is the target customer for this peeler?  The only people who I think might buy this product are those who have bought every other product from late-at-night infomercials in the past and need this innovative product to add to their collection or perhaps, a person… you know, I can’t even add to that. I don’t know anyone who would benefit from this peeler.  I’ll even go one step further: Anyone who thinks a banana is too tough to figure out should be strapped to a rocket and blasted into outer space because how much value can a person this stupid possess?  Here’s a free tip to anyone who can’t figure out a stubborn banana top: Bite it off; that works.  Okay, I’m sorry, guys, bad imagery again. But does anyone not agree?  A banana is naturally simple fruit and in this world where obesity is such a problem and we encourage people to try to exercise each day, peeling one’s own banana might be a good place to start.

Now that my rant is over, let me congratulate the people who came up with this enterprising idea because I bet they are millionaires. I bet they sold hundreds of thousands of their $5 peeler and why not?  The way to make millions in this world is to come up with a stupid product, market it to an equally stupid public and watch the money roll in. I can hear people on the Shopping Network saying,

“It’s only five dollars. What other kitchen appliance can you get for such a cheap price? Even those unemployed can afford that.”

And salivating viewers responding,

“Yes, only $5. I can’t beat that.  I will call and order one immediately.”

Ka-Ching!  Damn, I am jealous.  I am jealous over this stupid, stupid product that people are buying so that they can have easily peel-able bananas.  If this product becomes a runaway success, I think it’s time to re-evaluate the human race.  Apparently, evolution — or creationism – whatever you believe– was not such a stellar success after all.







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12 thoughts on “Who Needs a Five Dollar Banana Peeler?”

    1. Yes, I think you should send this post and your comment to the illustrious Mr. Cameron. I don’t know Ray Comfort, but you can send it to him too. You know, it took me three times to see the have touted. My mind just read it as has touted. It’s funny how our minds correct things. Do you think that the Supreme Being is an editor?

  1. A guy by the name of Ray Comfort, along with Kirk Cameron, have touted the banana’s simplicity for humans to eat it as proof of God. Does this mean that the $5 banana peeler has just disproved God? Wow, my mind is blown.

  2. Such an a-peeling device! But I will probably pass, even though I eat a banana nearly every morning. I am usually able to manage to get the contents out without too much difficulty. I have learned to separate my bananas from the bunch and spread them in the fruit bowl; this causes them to ripen a little slower. So, they don’t get too ripe before I have eaten them all. BTW, will the banana peeler also help me separate the banana from the bunch?!

  3. Have you ever tried to peel a banana that is still about 1/4 green? It isn’t easy, as I can testify from my experience of a few days ago. I never thought of biting off the top, but this thing probably wouldn’t have even responded to that! It took me a few minutes of hard poking and tugging before that demon fruit finally gave in to its inevitable fate of being peeled and eaten by me.

    And no, I don’t need a banana peeler. That’s one job I can do myself, even if it occasionally takes some effort.

      1. Hmmm. Donna, I can always count on you to provide me with good, logical conclusions. 😉

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