How lazy have we become? I know that this sounds like a rhetorical question, but I am going to answer it anyway. In my lifetime, technology has given us so many ways to save time and effort. Not only do we have products that are time convenient, but we have products that are brain convenient as well. We rarely have to figure anything out anymore. Everything we need to exist is literally at our fingertips. We have transitioned from a world where minute rice, tea bags and instant coffee were once considered gifts from the gods to a world where the Internet, microwaves, universal TV remotes, iPods, iPads and anything else Apple rule. And now another major advancement , the banana peeler.
Yes, the banana peeler because people need an extra hand in peeling a banana. Honestly? We need a savvy kitchen tool to help us peel a banana? In case you are wondering, it is not an electronic device that shocks the banana into shedding its skin. It’s a clip, shaped like a monkey face, that is placed on the top of a banana and when the clip is pulled, it forces the top of the banana backwards and off. Okay, right now every man in the world is cringing at this imagery, and for the record, this is not a sex toy; it’s truly a banana peeler and I don’t think it’s interchangeable like massagers – although I cannot swear to that because I haven’t bought the peeler – or the massager – I swear.
Allow me to just move on, okay? Who is the target customer for this peeler? The only people who I think might buy this product are those who have bought every other product from late-at-night infomercials in the past and need this innovative product to add to their collection or perhaps, a person… you know, I can’t even add to that. I don’t know anyone who would benefit from this peeler. I’ll even go one step further: Anyone who thinks a banana is too tough to figure out should be strapped to a rocket and blasted into outer space because how much value can a person this stupid possess? Here’s a free tip to anyone who can’t figure out a stubborn banana top: Bite it off; that works. Okay, I’m sorry, guys, bad imagery again. But does anyone not agree? A banana is naturally simple fruit and in this world where obesity is such a problem and we encourage people to try to exercise each day, peeling one’s own banana might be a good place to start.
Now that my rant is over, let me congratulate the people who came up with this enterprising idea because I bet they are millionaires. I bet they sold hundreds of thousands of their $5 peeler and why not? The way to make millions in this world is to come up with a stupid product, market it to an equally stupid public and watch the money roll in. I can hear people on the Shopping Network saying,
“It’s only five dollars. What other kitchen appliance can you get for such a cheap price? Even those unemployed can afford that.”
And salivating viewers responding,
“Yes, only $5. I can’t beat that. I will call and order one immediately.”
Ka-Ching! Damn, I am jealous. I am jealous over this stupid, stupid product that people are buying so that they can have easily peel-able bananas. If this product becomes a runaway success, I think it’s time to re-evaluate the human race. Apparently, evolution — or creationism – whatever you believe– was not such a stellar success after all.