1. Watch you go to the bathroom
2. Philosophy: what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is mine, that which you may want in the future is mine.
3. You do not own them.
4. Must have dirty paws all over the keyboard as you type—or better yet, lay down on it. Newspapers too.
5. Choose not to come when called.
6. If you want them to go anywhere, you must pick them up and carry them.
7. Act like dead weight when #6 occurs.
8. Climb up on kitchen counters and eat other people’s food.
9. Look incredibly cute when asleep.
10. Act surly and uncooperative when taking pictures of them.
11. Have nine lives.
12. Act totally unconcerned when caught creating a mess.
13. Lap up water from the door of an open dishwasher
14. Like big cardboard boxes.
15. Have a fascination with toilet water.
16. Don’t like wearing clothes.
17. Like to ingest small items—preferably living, but may be recently dead.
18. Obsessed with Chuck E. Cheese commercials
19. Go bat-crazy when vacuum cleaner is turned on.
20. Like to eat goldfish.