Blog Archives

The Kids’ Summer Mantra: “I’m Bored!”

May 31, 2016
By
awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Recently, at Longhorn with the family, I pulled out my credit card to pay since hubs forgot his wallet. “How are YOU gonna pay, Mom?” my kids heckled. “It’s dad’s money!” “I have money too,”…

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My Quest for the Freaking Fountain of Youth

January 11, 2014
By

My birthday is approaching, and I’m researching beauty treatments to (make myself think) I look like I did ten years ago. Asking around, I was amazed at how many women are getting lasered, botoxed, injected,…

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12 Reasons I’m Glad Christmas Is Over

January 2, 2014
By

#12 – My Elf On The Shelf no longer has to outdo all the other freaking Elves On Everyone Else’s Shelves.  My Elf is worn out and he’d rather indulge in a glass of Christmas…

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Tired of All Those Christmas Brag Letters?

December 7, 2013
By

I really admire the families who include letters with their Christmas cards.  They send perfect pictures of their well-behaved children in the beautiful places they’ve visited this year. www.corbisimages.com However, I don’t have time for…

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It’s Not My Fault! It’s the Elf on the Shelf!

December 3, 2013
By

How do you know it’s the day after Halloween?  Every suburban strip mall blitzes red and green, and declares that evil is SO yesterday and all the cool people are now into elves and eggnog. …

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In Southern Grocery Stores:

November 16, 2013
By

All Southerners will understand this. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as…

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Caution: Serious Disorder Leads to Wearing Coconut Bra

November 8, 2013
By

I was a room mom extraordinaire. For Halloween, other moms brought cupcakes with a Milano-cookie tombstone sticking out of the top.  Pu-leeeze. I brought a masterpiece with a lighted skull and glowing skeleton hands and…

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Wife Swap and a Passionate Encounter With Doritos

October 22, 2013
By

I love reality shows, and one of my favorites is Wife Swap. Every episode two polar opposite families agree to swap wives for two weeks. http://www.campaignbrief.com/2011/12/post-119.html The first week the new mom has to adhere to…

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Siri’s Programmers Had a Cuervo Party

October 19, 2013
By

Siri’s nerdy, smug programmers are boring, and they’re hurting sales.  So Apple’s mischievous Marketing Dept. sneaked Cuervo into the programmers’ water cooler. Now, Siri can’t be tamed. Average Joe to Siri:  “Is ‘neurode’ a real word?” Siri:…

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Another Anti-aging Cream

October 7, 2013
By

My friend spent $300 on Anti-aging cream made from cat placentas.  Her skin looks great, but she goes bat-crazy when the vacuum cleaner is turned on. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in…

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