Conservative Leaders Gather In New Orleans Hoping to Avoid Gays, Blacks

The RedState Gathering is convening in New Orleans this week for its fifth year. The RedState website explains that the gathering is where like-minded conservative activists gather to hook up, meet face to face, and share special experiences at both the convention and around town in an effort to engage the locals as much as possible, preferably without encountering many gays or African Americans.


A RedState organizer describes the event:

“Each year, we all meet new people and make new intimate connections. This year will be no different. To have this event in New Orleans is really something. It comes highly recommended by former Senator Larry Craig. Louisiana is an anchor in the conservative movement, so we expect New Orleans will be a shining example of those solid conservative family values we look to reestablish in America.

Yes, we have engaging speakers of note, but we expect some of the most intimate encounters to take place out in the city with the locals. We scouted New Orleans long and hard before choosing it as the location for our event. We understand that there aren’t a lot of blacks down here and we love that all of the local gay bars are restricted from the main road where people can see them and what goes on there, and forced to locate on every other street. But we engaged conservatives in such manly blue collar places as “Backdoor Bubba’s” where many patrons were REALLY receptive to our conservative small government message…in fact, we got TONS of phone numbers and promises to actively engage during the week. We’re making contact with those activists and really want to celebrate the glory of America. In fact, I’ve been told we’re going to visit some glory holes this week, so that sounds like a real treat. I’m told we can find those in a place called “The Closet Conservative”, which is the kind of place I’d expect in a truly American city such as New Orleans.

And the city itself is being really welcoming. We’ve been told that men’s bathroom stall dividers have been heightened in anticipation of our arrival. We love our modesty and what goes on there, like what goes on in America, is none of the government’s business. Everyone’s stance on these kinds of issues should always be respected.”

The 2013 RedState Gathering runs from August 2nd to 3rd.

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