Are many of you still perplexed by the vocal exchanges the dentist and his or her assistant has while hovering over your face like a pair of UFOs? Well, then, happy days to you, kiddos, because Silliman is here to calm your fears and answer your questions. Below, find a list of dentist/assistant banter – dental chair statements and what they REALLY mean:
When dentist says: It’s been a long time since your last visit.
Dentist means: Weren’t you a scrawny little kid the last time I saw you? Sorry, these chairs don’t come in EXTRA WIDE!
When dentist says: This won’t take long.
Dentist means: I have a tee off time in 45 minutes.
When dentist says: This might tickle a little bit.
Dentist means: After we finish with those gums, we can also pierce your ears.
When dentist says: You seem to have a slight overbite.
Dentist means: Hey assistant, put on that Alvin & The Chipmunks record.
When dentist asks: Do you need to rinse?
Dentist means: There’s enough loose cement, filling and residue in there to clog a main drain.
When dentist says: Use a waxed dental floss.
Dentist means: Tex, please quite with the barb wire.
When dentist says: Open wide.
Dentist means: I’m looking for a lost drill and an extra pair of gloves.
When dentist says: Try to relax.
Dentist means: Knee me one more time and I’ll yank out your adenoids.
When dentist says: Don’t get too close to the rinse vacuum.
Dentist means: This thing’s so powerful, it’ll suck your brains right through your nostrils.
Now there, don’t you feel better? Now that you know what the dentist REALLY means.
I thought so. You’re welcome.