Puzzled by Dental/Assistant Banter? Silliman Helps

Are many of you still perplexed by the vocal exchanges the dentist and his or her assistant has while hovering over your face like a pair of UFOs? Well, then, happy days to you, kiddos, because Silliman is here to calm your fears and answer your questions. Below, find a list of dentist/assistant banter – dental chair statements and what they REALLY mean:

When dentist says: It’s been a long time since your last visit.
Dentist means: Weren’t you a scrawny little kid the last time I saw you? Sorry, these chairs don’t come in EXTRA WIDE!

When dentist says: This won’t take long.
Dentist means: I have a tee off time in 45 minutes.

When dentist says: This might tickle a little bit.
Dentist means: After we finish with those gums, we can also pierce your ears.

When dentist says: You seem to have a slight overbite.
Dentist means: Hey assistant, put on that Alvin  & The Chipmunks record.

When dentist asks: Do you need to rinse?
Dentist means: There’s enough loose cement, filling and residue in there to clog a main drain.

When dentist says: Use a waxed dental floss.
Dentist means: Tex, please quite with the barb wire.

When dentist says: Open wide.
Dentist means: I’m looking for a lost drill and an extra pair of gloves.

When dentist says: Try to relax.
Dentist means: Knee me one more time and I’ll yank out your adenoids.

When dentist says: Don’t get too close to the rinse vacuum.
Dentist means: This thing’s so powerful, it’ll suck your brains right through your nostrils.

Now there, don’t you feel better? Now that you know what the dentist REALLY means.
I thought so. You’re welcome.





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One thought on “Puzzled by Dental/Assistant Banter? Silliman Helps”

  1. What’s even more fun is being under a local anesthetic while getting cataract surgery, and feeling so good that they could drop a ten-ton load on you and you wouldn’t care. You can hear everything the members of the operating team are saying, and you are so high from the anesthetic that almost any silly remark can seem to you like the funniest thing since Adam’s fig leaf. You start to giggle, which causes the doctor to stop in mid-whatever and ask you to PLEASE be quiet because you are making your eye move.

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