The Iranian Mystery Is Now Solved

I’ve long wondered what’s really behind our dealings with Iran. The US and its allies have imposed crushing sanctions that have crippled Iran’s currency and trade. Our leaders tell us it’s about preventing the spread of nuclear weapons, but I don’t buy it. The federal government’s real motivation is rarely what they claim it is. The official line is always a front for something else. For example, the government claims it’s pursuing gun control to prevent future school massacres, when in reality it’s trying to take away personal weapons so that Americans can be rounded up and herded into FEMA prison camps.

So what’s really going on? Two days ago I found out. The Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, publicly volunteered to be blasted into space to test Iran’s ability to have a human orbit the earth in a rocket. Happening as close as it did to the Super Bowl, this pronouncement drew little attention in the United States. John McCain responded with a derisive Twitter message, but that’s to be expected given that Ahmadinejad, unlike McCain, was able to become President of his country. John McCain’s just jealous.

But the people higher up aren’t laughing. President Obama, the commie running France, and all the other Western leaders saw this coming. They knew that one day Ahmadinejad would pull a stunt so daring and courageous that they would look like wimps by comparison. How can you top something this fearless? With a tax cut? They knew they had to get Ahmadinejad out of the picture, but they couldn’t use the old standby of military invasion after Iraq and Afghanistan. Plus, they’re broke. So they went with sanctions.

The last thing any world leader wants is to get out-braved and out-manned by a guy in a Members Only jacket. That’s just too humiliating to bear.