Time for Some Single Rights

I recently followed up a comprehensive post on the subject of same-sex marriage with what I intended to be a tongue in cheek post about “single rights.” The goal of the follow up post was simply to be a humorous and anecdotal piece pointing out that single people do not have any special rights or privileges set aside for them in our society. Being single with no dependents doesn’t help at tax time. Single guys aren’t going to get a break on their auto insurance. I pay local taxes to fund schools that I do not use. I could go on here but you get the idea.

I was surprised by some of the comments and a flurry of tweets that actually took the subject quite seriously. I have maintained for a long time that there is a stigma toward people who are of a certain age, childless, and of these especially those who have never been married. Several years ago I posted a brief article on the subject of singlehood on this site and decided that it needed an update.

In my opinion what the homosexual community may want with some of the same-sex marriage initiatives is more than just the benefits of being married. What underlies may be a simple desire to just be able to overcome the societal imposed disgrace of singlehood.

The feeling within society seems to be that marriage reflects a special dignity and deserves certain privileges over those who simply go at it on their own. A term used often is that of “family values.” The word “value” is often implemented in regard to many things to suggest a worth beyond an opinion. I guess people like me have “single values.”

Showcasing the appearance of “family values” is often done by politicians. When running for office candidates may parade their children along with their spouse onto the stage. This would suggest that some politicians feel that there is a distinctive credibility associated with those who engage in the act of procreation. For certain other politicians it also is convenient that there are housekeepers and pool boys passing through their premises for the times when what they extol as traditional family life gets a little tiresome.

The bias applied toward childless individuals is often reflected in everyday attitudes.

When something unexpected comes up at the office and consequently overtime is required, someone generally makes the proclamation, “Well, I can’t stay because I have to get home to my kids.” The lofty tone in their voice can be heard as if their excuse is so noble that it dare not be questioned. In such a circumstance it is presumed that one of the childless heathens who works in the office should be able to stay late and deal with the issue.

Anytime people talk about a recent fatal accident they will often put an emphasis on the number of children the victim had. “Did you hear about the young man that was killed last night? Do you know he had two kids?” Yes, this is a heartrending situation but the subtle implication is that the death of this individual would somehow be less of a tragedy if he did not have any children. It would be no big deal if my head was rolling down the street like a bowling ball.

On almost every date I have ever been on with a woman who has children I have heard, “My kids come first.” The implication with this remark is that this woman has something important to attend to in her life and I do not. Well, for her information I have other family members, friends, and a certain cat named Rusty that leads the pack in terms of my loyalties.

Another one of my favorite little swipes at someone like me is, “You don’t know what it is like to have kids because you don’t have any.” I’ve never been in outer space either but I know it is damn hard to breathe out there.

I am fully aware of the responsibilities and sacrifices that come with marriage and parenthood. However, we all experience life in different ways. Whether it is by design or fate, not all of us find the path to happiness by getting married and we are certainly not the lesser for it. Furthermore, it is about time we got some well deserved recognition. How about some singlehood benefits?