My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013
Side effects may include vomiting, weight gain, and a miniature person falling out of your vagina. Ask your doctor if sex is right for you.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013
The best revenge against your enemies is to be happy. Unless you can kill them and make it look like an accident. That’s much better.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013
Last night I stayed up until almost 9 p.m. watching the History Channel. One of these days, this rock star lifestyle will catch up with me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013
I’m a child of the 1980s. I don’t trust scientists or politicians, but I’ll believe almost anything if it comes from a Muppet.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013
