Unicorn Bites 4/28/14

My 1-year-old thinks her name is “Go watch TV,” so, yes, I’d say I’m a good parent. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014 Me: That milk came from a cow. 3-year-old: What animal did […]

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Unicorn Bites 10/23/13

My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013 Side effects […]

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Vatican Says Popemobile Brake System Malfunction After Pope’s Conciliatory Comments on Gays and Abortion “Purely Coincidental”

A Vatican spokesman announced that any link between Pope Francis’ recent conciliatory comments regarding atheists, gays, abortion, and birth control and an accident where the Popemobile’s braking system appeared to malfunction is purely coincidental. The […]

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Royal Carribean Cruise Catches Fire, Carnival Sues For Trademark Infringement

Royal Caribbean’s Grandeur of the Seas cruise ship caught fire Monday morning, prompting Carnival CEO Gerry Cahill to immediately file an injunction against the cruise line for trademark infringement. “Cruise ship fires are our thing. […]

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