A Place At The Table Of The New Order Awaits The One Who Can Accomplish This Task
Tag: daughter
Unicorn Bites 7/8/14
Me: Ready for a bath? 4-year-old: Only if you promise I won’t get wet. Me: 4: Me: I can’t do that. 4: Why don’t you love me? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 8, 2014 *picture […]
Unicorn Bites 4/28/14
My 1-year-old thinks her name is “Go watch TV,” so, yes, I’d say I’m a good parent. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014 Me: That milk came from a cow. 3-year-old: What animal did […]
Unicorn Bites 1/28/14
Coworker: Can you jump my car? Me: Probably. I can jump pretty high. Coworker: I’ll ask someone else. Me: Is it because I’m white? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 28, 2014 1-year-old: *takes my ChapStick* […]
Unicorn Bites 12/26/13
Me: Where’s Ken? 3-year-old daughter: He broke up with Barbie. Then a T. rex ate him. I pity any boy who ever dates my little girl. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 26, 2013 […]
Unicorn Bites 12/16/13
3-year-old: My feet are cold. Me: Why did you take off your socks? 3: Daddy, you’re not helping. Me and my useless, unrelated questions. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 16, 2013 Wife: You’re […]
Unicorn Bites 9/10/13
When I tell my wife, “I’m going to take you out,” she never knows if I mean, “on a date” or “with a sniper rifle.” I keep her on her toes. — James Breakwell, Exploding […]
A Heartwarming Mother and Child Reunion
A 94 year-old woman is reunited with the 77 year-old daughter she gave up for adoption. They celebrate by shopping at Justice where the daughter demands several pairs of trashy, overpriced jeans and purple, […]
The Magic Shopping Machine
With my daughter living at home again, we have re-connected on one of our favorite activities: shopping. I have to admit that during her college years, I didn’t go to the mall nearly as much […]