Unicorn Bites 1/28/14

Coworker: Can you jump my car? Me: Probably. I can jump pretty high. Coworker: I’ll ask someone else. Me: Is it because I’m white? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 28, 2014 1-year-old: *takes my ChapStick* […]

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Unicorn Bites 11/23/13

3-year-old: “Where’s your beard?” Me: “It’s gone?! Is it in your pocket?” 3: “Daddy…” Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: 3: *checks pockets* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 23, 2013 Oh, you married a […]

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