My 1-year-old thinks her name is “Go watch TV,” so, yes, I’d say I’m a good parent.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014
Me: That milk came from a cow. 3-year-old: What animal did the orange juice come from? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: A stegosaurus. 3: I knew it!
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014
Me: Need me to move the doll house? 3-year-old: It’s heavy M: You don’t think I’m strong enough? 3: M: 3: M: 3: I’ll ask mom to do it
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014
My 1-year-old learned to shout “ta-da!” and now every time she poops it’s like a magic trick.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014
According to my dad, the proper response to “I love you” is “You were an accident.”
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014