Dances With Scammers

All good scammers know that the most effective way to dupe someone is to appeal to their generosity. You catch them at that potholed intersection in the mind where Kindness runs a red and slams into Guilt. I’m not saying I approve, just making an observation.

Recently in Seattle two men scammed a utility. The guys encountered the utility’s CEO in a Starbucks and claimed to work for a nonprofit that taught kids how to make jewelry out of scrap metal. They were hoping the utility could provide scrap for these projects. As part of the ruse the men passed themselves off as members of the Cherokee Nation.

Yup, when I see these men my first thought is “These guys must be Native Americans.” I’m not well versed in male Native American fashion trends, so who am I to point out that the mustache on the left looks just like the one worn by the owner of Gino’s Pizza down the street?

The men also had awesome and totally believable cover names – Michael Little Bear and Joe Wolf. That second name is very impressive and is probably better than Joe Mamma Bear or Joe Got Fired Many Moons Ago. The article didn’t say, but I’ll bet they were dressed in buckskins and holding little rubber tomahawks to complete their cover.

The utility handed over 20 tons of scrap metal and copper wire (which is enough to fashion roughly 14 billion earrings). The scammers then sold it for $100k.

But it all ended well. The utility recovered the material and recycled it. Michael Little Bear and Joe Wolf got arrested and, in a cruel twist of irony, will probably spend some time making trinkets in a prison Shop class. And I hope cooler heads prevail regarding the utility CEO. He was acting purely out of generosity, which is a big part of why we choose to live out here. Kindness should never be punished.