I bumped into an ex-girlfriend and we had a laugh, reminiscing about the surreal old days. I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee and she picked up her phone and logged on to an app. The app told her that she last had a coffee in 2003. She was on a diet so there was no way she could have another one, so soon after. I told her about Jill Y and that we had an imaginary son and daughter. She said she would never have imagined that I would be a father of one, yet alone two imaginary kids. I told her that we’re pretty cool parents and that we learned about parenting from Comedians on TV shows:
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12 thoughts on “Keeping It Real”
I taught myself how to hit a baseball. My Mom never did get around to teaching me how to change a tire on a car. I still don’t know how to do that.
Imaginary children…genius! Imaginary billions, imaginary luxury, my life just got made. Your mom’s wisdom reminded me of the time I asked Dave Barry, “So what do you think of humor based on stereotypes?” and he said, “Leave it to a woman to ask a question like that.”
Mr. Barry totally rocks.
Indeed, he does!
I can see why you broke up.
And the irony of it all was that I developed the app!
And you still sought to have imaginary children. You are the perfect parent!
Ah it’s not all good Don Don’s. They don’t get me anything for Father’s Day!
I need an app that tells me that all the Starbucks should be mine. Sometimes I doubt myself and I need positive reinforcement.
Another option would be to open a coffee house and only sell coffee to yourself. The word would soon get around that you own a coffee house but only sell coffee to yourself. This would create massive queues outside the door and eventually you would sell vat loads of coffee. You’re welcome!
Always seeking knowledge Bill. You are inspirational.
I know, I totally rock. I’m thinking about setting up The Bill Y Foundation For The Massively Confused. Y’know, to give back even more.
I taught myself how to hit a baseball. My Mom never did get around to teaching me how to change a tire on a car. I still don’t know how to do that.
Imaginary children…genius! Imaginary billions, imaginary luxury, my life just got made. Your mom’s wisdom reminded me of the time I asked Dave Barry, “So what do you think of humor based on stereotypes?” and he said, “Leave it to a woman to ask a question like that.”
Mr. Barry totally rocks.
Indeed, he does!
I can see why you broke up.
And the irony of it all was that I developed the app!
And you still sought to have imaginary children. You are the perfect parent!
Ah it’s not all good Don Don’s. They don’t get me anything for Father’s Day!
I need an app that tells me that all the Starbucks should be mine. Sometimes I doubt myself and I need positive reinforcement.
Another option would be to open a coffee house and only sell coffee to yourself. The word would soon get around that you own a coffee house but only sell coffee to yourself. This would create massive queues outside the door and eventually you would sell vat loads of coffee. You’re welcome!
Always seeking knowledge Bill. You are inspirational.
I know, I totally rock. I’m thinking about setting up The Bill Y Foundation For The Massively Confused. Y’know, to give back even more.