Back in my home state of Oklahoma we treated weather as random events requiring little attention. Minnesotans, on the other hand, obsess about weather. For example, last week the TV weather prognosticator claimed there was an incoming storm the size of Brazil. Next came a run on grocery stores and phone calls warning relatives from Stillwater to Stockholm to buy a generator. We barely battened down the hatches and pulled out the board games before the weather guy proclaimed the storm had changed direction and would take out Chicago by nightfall. It might rain, he insisted, or the wind could blow 60 miles per hour. The temperature would surely fall below below zero by morning. Actually, all of that happened, and then it became mud season.
For those unlucky souls who never met the marvels of mud, let me explain. First, it comes in assorted varieties. Mudpacks, mud wrestling, mud baths, and mud pies. Mud promotes therapeutic and cosmetic enhancements. Spring mud shows up at a perfect time. It announces the end of short days and long nights. It proclaims relief from itchy hair stuck to odorous stable blankets. Mud season is a time when every self-respecting horse takes a swan dive in the sludge.
Of course, one cannot overlook the restorative benefits of such a dive. Frankly, mud might be equally therapeutic for peevish city council members. Mud can fix every sort of rash and grumble. It takes away the sting of small affronts and bad poker hands. It soothes and refreshes while putting life back in balance.
Best of all, mud never fails to prompt a shriek from Madam. I love the way she sprints for the cleaning supplies when she spies me sporting a suit of clay and a halter stuck to my head.
So, I’ve been thinking of other potential mud benefits. I’d bet a good scrub in the muck could cut down on bullying. Or, a reckless cannonball in the slop might even help manage road rage, or promote a degree of civility in the legislative processes. How about a mud hole as an employment benefit?
All I can tell you is, one look at my poker club returning home after a romp in the swamp tells me they have enjoyed a seasonal attitude adjustment. Thanks to this grand change of weather, we all have!