My 3-year-old asks me “Why?” 10,000 times a day, so, no, I don’t think I’d crack under torture.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2014
Me:*wakes up 3-year-old* 3: How old do I have to be to not get up early? M: 65 & retired I crushed my first dream of the day. I’m on fire
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2014
3-year-old: *puts on snow boots with no pants* Me: You forgot something. 3: Oops. *puts in a barrette*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2014
3-year-old: Why am I not in your wedding photo? Me: It was way before you were born 3: Where was I? M: 3: M: 3: M: Holding the camera
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2014
Middle schools in Nevada are struggling to stop kids from participating in “Slap Ass Fridays,” in case you wondered why China is beating us.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2014