Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO!
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2014
Teenager: How fast were computers back when you were a kid? Me: I don’t know. How much RAM is in an Etch A Sketch?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2014
Me: There are plenty of fish in the sea Him: So you think I’ll find someone? Me: No, but fish sticks will stay affordable as you die alone
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2014
When I was in high school, we didn’t have cell phones to send dick pics. We used Polaroids and the U.S. Postal Service b/c we were gentlemen
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2014
Her: I lost so much weight. Me: That’s good. Her: Are you saying I needed to lose weight?! Me: I’m saying LOOK OVER THERE *runs away*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2014
Ram in an Etch A Sketch…Ouchies to those old enough to remember dial-up or “cell phones” as big as a shoebox.