My Father’s Sense of Humor | HumorOutcasts

My Father’s Sense of Humor

June 17, 2015
By

Daddy photo

When my wife tells me, “You’re not as funny as you think,” I freely own up to my failings and admit, “That’s my dad’s fault.” Yes, the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree, so if I’m not funny, it’s because for over thirty years I drank from the fountain of my father’s sense of humor.

He loved puns. He used to send me headlines he clipped from newspapers: “Bill’s Chances Getting Slimmer by the Minute” (meaning me); “Hooker Seeks Help on Island Project” (“Hooker,” here, a man’s name); and from the newspaper’s TV guide section “The Houston Knights: Good Ol’ Boy, Chicago Detective Born to Butt Heads” (which my father knew I’d read as “Born to Buttheads”). I once gave him a Humor in the Headlines book filled with such double entendres, and he read them out loud to me and got so tickled he started laughing uncontrollably to the point of giggling in tears. He couldn’t stop, and I began to fear for his health. After two days of nonstop laughter, I hid the book where he couldn’t find it.

My father also admired irony, understatement, and exaggeration, and sometimes employed these techniques in uncomfortable ways. Once after he sent me into a McDonald’s for a take-out order, the service was slow, and he came in after five minutes and announced for everyone to hear, “I just came in to see if you’d decided to camp out here tonight.” Hearkening back to his military service, he called day-long odious work projects “GI parties,” and he “invited” me and my brothers to them.

Dad also enjoyed insult humor and plagiarized examples of it from literature. When he thought I was slow completing an errand, he’d ask, “How did you travel? By ox cart?” (from the play The Man Who Came to Dinner). And when he was invited to attend some event of dubious desirability, he’d say, “I’ll go—if a lunch is provided” (from Dickens, regarding Scrooge’s funeral).

My father’s sense of humor also embraced the dark. His favorite New Yorker cartoon was of a woman running along the beach, the shadow of an overhead pterodactyl with a man dangling in its talons just ahead of her, with the caption “The keys, George. Drop the keys!” This caption was his refrain whenever he was struck by gallows humor. He celebrated my mother’s frequent mid-year firings of incompetent teachers at her private school each time with another refrain: “Merry Christmas and goodbye.” He intimated that the “Merry Christmas” would be a nice, softening touch to the firing. And once when he was in the courthouse as city attorney in charge of acquiring land for a new road right of way and a street evangelist accosted him in the hallway with “Brother, are you headed to heaven?” my father shot back, “No, in fact, Brother, I’m headed to a condemnation.”

The morning after my father died, the whole family had gathered at the kitchen table when the phone rang. My sister-in-law answered it and began a tangle with a persistent solicitor. We could see in her face and hear in her voice her increasing discomfort as we listened to her side of the exchange:
He’s not here right now. . . .
No, that wouldn’t be a good time to call back. . . .
No, that wouldn’t be a good time either. . . .
There’s not really any good time. . . .
I’m sorry. The truth is he just died.

At the table we began snickering with the first “He’s not here right now” and laughed harder and louder the deeper my sister-in-law dug into her grave predicament. I feel sure my father would have forgiven us. In fact, I think he actually would’ve liked it that we celebrated his life, celebrated his sense of humor—by inappropriately, unreservedly laughing our heads off.

After all, we learned it from him.

Bill Spencer

Bill Spencer's humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration, The Short Humour Site, Hobo Pancakes, and Nuthouse. He has also published scholarly articles on the novels of Cormac McCarthy and is co-author of an unproduced screenplay, "Angel Pays a Visit." He lives in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife, artist-poet Carolyn Elkins.

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13 Responses to My Father’s Sense of Humor

  1. Bill Y Ledden
    June 19, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    Tell Mrs. Bill that we all think you’re as funny as you think you are.

    • Bill Spencer
      June 19, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      I’ll tell her, but she’s pretty stubborn in her standards. She does think YOU’RE very funny.

  2. June 18, 2015 at 11:46 am

    You have picked up his pun talent, which is a total blessing. Funny how lawyers have some of the widest ranging humor out there.

    • Bill Spencer
      June 18, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      And funny how people named Thomas have such well-developed senses of humor. (My father’s name was Rock Thomas Spencer, Sr., and he went by “Tom.”)

  3. Kathy Minicozzi
    June 17, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    You were blessed to have such a father!

    • Bill Spencer
      June 18, 2015 at 6:26 am

      I know it to be so. Isn’t it funny how so much of what we learn from our parents, probably the most important stuff—like how to live, how to be in the world—is not what they were consciously trying to teach us?

  4. June 17, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    I just got a credit card in my dad’s name a few days ago, and he’s been gone for a few years now. Do you think that was his joke, or a sicko American Express representative?

    • Bill Spencer
      June 17, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      I think your dad did it, and I think he was symbolically saying, “I have to give you credit: You’re a good son and one hell of a funny writer.”

  5. June 17, 2015 at 9:10 am

    It’s so hard getting dead people to talk on the phone. They are so stubborn that way!

    • Bill Spencer
      June 17, 2015 at 10:09 am

      Yes, and the interdimensional telephone surcharges are a killer.

  6. June 17, 2015 at 8:37 am

    Methinks I would have really liked your Dad. My Dad died when I was a very little girl, so when we were teenagers and would get a phone call asking for him, we would say: “Oh, so sorry, he’s under the weather right now.” We thought that was hilarious….and I’m pretty sure, by genetics alone, my Dad would have too. Nice Father’s Day post, Bill!

    • Bill Spencer
      June 17, 2015 at 10:19 am

      I’m glad your dark sense of humor has helped you get through difficult times. Sometimes, you just have to . . .



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