A few weeks back, as I drove down the road with my wife, a silver SUV approached us from the opposite direction. At least, I’m pretty sure it was a silver SUV—my full attention was drawn to the ass in the passenger seat.
No, it wasn’t a politician: It was more literally an ass, as in a posterior pressed against the windshield to moon oncoming drivers. It could very well have been their better half, and maybe even their better looking half, no butts about it.
You might think their sense of humor was scraping the bottom, but that breezy fanny didn’t ruffle my rear. I figure it was a harmless prank, the kind that doesn’t hurt anything or anybody unless somebody’s startled enough to drive off the road.
Still, if I was a passing police office I would have stopped the SUV, if only for the chance to tell the driver: “I suspect your passenger wasn’t wearing his seat belt.”
That’s my tail for the day … I hope it doesn’t put your schedule behind.
Mark, the paradox of this scenario has really stuck with me. I bet you’re the first person ever to be “rear-ended” by an ONCOMING car.
Good point. Maybe I should apply for a federal grant to study this new hazard!
Brings a whole new meaning to “behind the wheel.”
I often see asses behind the wheel, but that usually means something less literal.
It’s best not to anal-yze this too much. Probably just some crack-pot.
Maybe he just liked being the butt of jokes.
I didn’t want to be the one to have to say this, but I’d rather see a pink Moon than Uranus.
Especially if it has a ring around it.