The Irrefutable Difference between Dogs and Cats

Let me start by saying I love dogs.  I’m also one of the few dog lovers who love cats.  In a utopian society both species would happily coexist with one another.  However, in reality their irrefutable differences are clearly defined:

Dogs:  We’re sorry to wake you from your peaceful slumber; however, it’s time for you kind humans to feed us.

Cats:  Oh, is that your face I’m sitting on? We thought it was a huge wrinkled pillow with a nose and mouth.  Speaking of mouths we need to be fed . . . NOW!

Dogs: Our humans are home!! We’ll sit by the door, wag our tails then jump up to greet them!

Cats:  Oh joy, our humans are home. If we don’t move they’ll think we’re asleep and leave us alone.  And by the way your new black pants you left on the bed this morning make a purrrrfect quilt.

Dogs: Ugh, is it time for another vet visit.  As much as we hate it our humans know what’s best for us.  And afterwards we’ll get a treat in the car because we were so good.

Cats: Sure, we’ll go back to the vet as soon as she heals from the bite marks from our last visit.  Speaking of which, we need our rabies shots.

Dog: Yes, we confess.  We ate all the bacon off of your plate this morning, please forgive us.

Cats: It was the dogs – sell them.

Dogs:  Here’s our leash, let’s go for a walk!

Cats: How about you and the pooches go for a walk.  We have important business to attend to like sleeping and puking up a hair ball on your new black pants quilt.

And last but not least, the final difference and funniest joke I’ve ever heard describing the difference between dogs and cats:

Cats: [while you’re sitting on the toilet] Excuse me, you’re pissing in our $%#&@&# water bowl.

Dogs: Wow, you can drink with your butt?!

For more canine humor check out A Canine’s Guide to the Good Life by our very own Frankie and LuLu Cavanagh with the help of their talented human, Donna Cavanagh.