The Real Meanings

If you look between and behind the words of well known catch phrases, acronyms, sayings, etc., you can often find their hidden, but true, meanings. Here are some examples.

1. Some assembly required. You will spend all day with this, because the holes do not match each other, they included the wrong kind of screws, one leg is a quarter of an inch longer than the others and the instructions were written by someone who can’t speak English.

2. LOL. Something you post on a social media site in answer to someone else’s amusing post because if you try to write anything else you’ll come off looking really dumb, start a flame war and end up with a bunch of people you don’t even know mad at you.

3. We’ll send you a second set absolutely free. We’ll soak you with the extra shipping and handling charges, so you’ll basically end up paying twice, anyway.

4. User friendly. Reasonably easy for a genius to figure out.

5. One size fits most (or all). This garment was made so cheaply that the manufacturer couldn’t be bothered with sizing. They also made it as small as they could get away with. If you buy this, you’ll be sorry.

6. Clearance sale. Stuff nobody wanted, that we are trying to palm off on people who will buy anything cheap.

7. Made in China. Buy this at your own risk.

8. He resigned to seek other opportunities. He was fired, but we all agreed to pretend he resigned so he’d look good and we wouldn’t look like assholes. He can’t claim unemployment benefits, either.

9. We are re-engineering the staff. Most of you will be fired really soon. Those of you who are left will have to do the work of three people, at the same salaries you are earning now because we are taking advantage of the fact that you need your jobs and you don’t dare protest.

10. You’re only as old as you feel. You feel like a twenty year old, but you’re trapped in a body that has gray hair, wrinkles, arthritis and other annoying ailments.