Cruelest TV Show EVER

Forgive me if you’ve already watched the program I’m about to reveal, but in my defense, because I don’t have cable and because I get most of my entertainment through Netflix (my antenna allows me to watch only one channel – CBS – and on days that aren’t windy, ABC), I’m a little behind the rest of the world when it comes to knowing the latest trends in TV watching.

Anyway, I just found Property Brothers on Netflix, and I’m horrified – horrified, I say – by the treatment of the brothers on prospective homebuyers. Here is what watching Property Brothers feels like to me. Maybe you’ll get a sense of my horror:

Imagine for a minute that you’re sitting in front of your television set, lottery ticket in hand. The numbers that appear on the screen are the numbers you chose! You jump up and down with excitement and race for your phone to call everybody you love, but just when your finger touches the first number, you hear from your TV, HA HA HA HA HA, we lied! If you had the winning lottery numbers this week, we’re not giving you money! No, no, no, no, no! Here is what you win instead – a pile of poop!

Yes, that’s how I felt while watching the first episode of Property Brothers. Some poor couple gave the brothers their list of everything they wanted in their dream home, and the brothers didn’t disappoint. They brought the couple to the most beautiful house that fulfilled their dreams and all their requirements. Room after room after room, front yard, back yard, this home was a dream come true for the happy couple who oohed and aahhed throughout the tour.

“Do you love it?” the brothers asked the happy couple who were practically jumping up and down with excitement. And then, sadly, the brothers crushed the couple’s dreams by adding what can only be described as evil, “Well, ha ha ha ha ha, you can’t afford it!”

You could almost see the color drain from the faces of the once-happy couple when the brothers shared the price of what the couple hoped would be their dream home. And then, to make matters even worse, the brothers brought the hopeful couple to the next house, something that looked eerily similar to a dump site.

“This is what you can afford,” the brothers told the now forlorn couple. I felt the couple should have been put on a suicide watch, but the brothers didn’t even think to drive with them to the next home.

Yes, the twin brothers, Jonathan and Drew Scott, find the most horrendous homes around, homes they whimsically refer to as “fixer-uppers,” and convince homebuyers to allow the brothers to renovate the lost causes and transform them into the couple’s dream homes. I’ll admit I was a bit skeptical.

What I found most disruptive about the show was the Scott brothers’ image. They look like gods. How could I concentrate on houses and renovations when I couldn’t stop looking at them? Also I thought their trickery was just a little bit evil.

But when I saw the amazing transformations that took place, I was astounded. Their vision is amazing. They have the ability to look at a home in total disrepair and see, not only the potential of what could be, but also the certitude of what would be – a stunningly beautiful home.

So, the Scott brothers have successfully convinced this viewer to continue watching Property Brothers on Netflix. And if you haven’t seen it and would like to see some amazing transformations, if you can focus on the homes and not on these gorgeous 6’5” god-like creatures, you might get some great ideas for renovating your own home.