Have a Great Super Bowel | HumorOutcasts

Have a Great Super Bowel

February 7, 2016
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Apparently there’s a super bowel coming up today? Possibly the result of a stomach flu going around, or maybe somebody didn’t properly refrigerate the egg salad. Or does having a super bowel mean you don’t get the stomach flu? I’ll have to Google this …

Oh.

Turns out it’s the Super Bowl.

Well, as long as I’ve got it up here, might as well look into details. Okay, so the Denver Broncos and the … Carolina Panthers? Aren’t they a college team? How badly did the NFL teams do this year, to get beat by a college team? Oh, turns out they’re a pro team. I wonder which Carolina it is … Okay, Charlotte, so that’s North Carolina. I thought all the sports air down there was taken up by NASCAR. But I don’t watch NASCAR either, so what do I know?

Say, it’s the 50th Super Bowl! I haven’t watched one since the Colts played, maybe I should check it out. Let’s see … kickoff is at 6:30 p.m. Nope—that’s about the bedtime before my third shift job.

Guess I’ll catch the commercials later.

 Football
Funny, I thought the balls were brown.

 

Mark R Hunter

Mark R Hunter is the author of three romantic comedies: Radio Red, Storm Chaser, and its sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant, as well as a related story collection, Storm Chaser Shorts. He also wrote a young adult adventure, The No-Campfire Girls, and a humor collection, Slightly Off the Mark. In addition, he collaborated with his wife, Emily, on the history books Images of America: Albion and Noble County, Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So With The Albion Fire Department, and Hoosier Hysterical. Mark’s work also appeared in the anthologies My Funny Valentine and Strange Portals: Ink Slingers’ Fantasy/Horror Anthology. For two decades Mark R Hunter has been an emergency dispatcher for the Noble County Sheriff Department. He’s served over 32 years as a volunteer for the Albion Fire Department, holding such positions as safety officer, training officer, secretary, and public information officer. He also has done public relations writing for the Noble County Relay For Life, among other organizations, and served two terms on the Albion Town Council. When asked if he has any free time, he laughs hysterically. Mark lives in Albion, Indiana, with his wife and editor Emily, a cowardly ball python named Lucius, and a loving, scary dog named Beowulf. He has two daughters and twin grandsons, and so naturally is considering writing a children’s book.

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10 Responses to Have a Great Super Bowel

  1. February 9, 2016 at 9:05 pm

    We could’ve combined posts this week Mark! And this post is why women really should rule the world. 🙂

    • February 11, 2016 at 2:03 am

      There are some women I wouldn’t want ruling the world … but there are a *lot* more men who shouldn’t be doing it. And the men have already had their chance to screw things up!

  2. Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
    February 7, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    I quit watching after it was plain the NFL was cheating. Check the Minnesota Vikings Super Bowl back in 2001. Entire starting lineup goes to the pro bowl. Undefeated in the playoffs. Loses the GAME BEFORE THE SUPERBOWL to the Giants 48-0. WHAT!?!?!?!?!

    Don’t even get me started about how the St. Louis Rams won a Super Bowl from a ref cheating in the last play of the game after the clock ran out. The Rams were sacked before the touchdown, and they gave it to them anyway.

    Now you got 3-4 teams trying to move to LA. Sigh.

    • February 7, 2016 at 6:02 pm

      Good thing you aren’t still watching–deflategate would have given you a stroke. But since I honestly just don’t really care one way or another, it’s prime fun-poking territory for me.

      • Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
        February 7, 2016 at 7:11 pm

        It should be poked at with a rusty stick. The Mannings trying to be a “football dynasty” is up there with a El Jefe interviewing with Sean Penn.

        Chris Gatling intentionally seeing the football inbound and intentionally missing the catch – that was enough on my nerves.

        • February 8, 2016 at 2:24 am

          Now, in high school phys-ed I would duck … does that count as intentionally missing the catch? After that they let me hide under the bleachers with my book, which is what I had in mind all along. (In fairness, I should add that I was talked once or twice into going to games, but I spent the whole time watching the cheerleaders.)

          • Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
            February 8, 2016 at 3:28 am

            If you were on a competitive high school team, and were known as “The Hunter” or “The Beast Hunter” and led the team varsity to an undefeated regular season and got paid to drop/fumble every catch in your hands the game before the championship game like Chris Gatling did, then yes, that would count.

            He literally was like “I got it, I got it, I got it” watching the ball and jumped BACK as the ball came down intentionally avoiding it. This was on over 46 play conversions.

            • February 8, 2016 at 4:05 am

              Hm … nope. I’m almost certain I’d have remembered that.

  3. Bill Spencer
    February 7, 2016 at 5:35 pm

    In this, as in all Super Bowels—no guts, no glory.

    • February 7, 2016 at 6:02 pm

      Interesting comment, I’ll have to digest that a bit.



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