Pot Unlucky Party

Why do potluck parties exist? They’re all the rage around Christmas.

“Gee, I want to have a dinner party but I’m too lazy to get off my ass and cook – I guess it’ll be potluck!”

I understand why people have them – no cooking. But why do people go to them? It was your idea to have a party and you want me to cook? I think it’s time you took responsibility for your own decisions.

That’s like having a house-warming party and then inviting me to build the house. Sure I’m handy. I’m handy with my middle finger.

I’ll bring beer and maybe – maybe – a bag of chips, but you expect me to do kitchen time to improve your party?

Sure, I could go buy something, but the problem with that is the buying part. How much is this party going to cost me? Could you have your party on Black Friday so I can buy some cheap wings with my stereo?

There’s always pressure for people to bring some cutsie dish that represents their country or culture.

“Where did you get that plate? Is that from the plate store? It’s darling. And your meal is?”

“Meatloaf. It represents what I was going to throw out from my fridge.”

The potluck party is sort of like ordering out for food only you have a bunch of different people delivering it, and they just happen to be your friends so they stay and help you eat everything.

I have a real problem with the word “luck”. Do we really want luck to play a role when we’re eating other people’s food?

“Oh, I see you got the meatballs with the salmonella. That’s kinda pot unlucky for you, isn’t it.”

Then the party gets split into people who manage to grab some grub and those that don’t.

Pretty soon you have people going hungry, and the party becomes a microcosm for society and the 1% that get to eat like Kings and the 99% that go hungry. Should we set up a welfare party so these people can at least have a decent meal?

“Hey Jeff, I didn’t know your party was going to be a microcosm for the social and economic ills of society at large. Cool.”

“It was hard picking the right kind of music. Don’t forget to wash your own dishes.”