The Real Reason For Driverless Cars


Back when I taught Driver Education, we always stressed one key point – you need to laugh at your instructor’s jokes if you want to pass the class. But seriously, we regularly emphasized the need to wear a seatbelt. Always, with no exceptions. No matter what you are doing. Why is that so important? Because of stories like this:

In Detroit, a man recently crashed his car and was ejected through the sunroof. He wasn’t wearing any pants. And police determined that he was watching porn on his phone at the time of the crash.

Stories like this make you understand why the “driverless car” of the future cannot get here fast enough. And also why it’s being developed in the first place.

In a related story, the leaders of the militants occupying an Oregon wildlife refuge recently got pulled over while driving to the town of John Day. An event similar to the one mentioned above was to blame for the driving infraction. They weren’t heading to John Day to organize a new “government”, they were going there because the video store in Burns was out of business. Spending three weeks in a freezing building surrounded by dudes does things to a fellow.

To recap:

1) “Hands-free” driving does not mean having one hand on the phone and one hand somewhere other than the wheel.

2) It doesn’t really matter what you do while driving, just remember to always wear your seatbelt.

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4 thoughts on “The Real Reason For Driverless Cars”

  1. So as I understand it, you’re saying when you’re engaging in auto-eroticism, always wear a lap belt to prevent premature ejection. Is that right? Do restraints usually enhance the experience?

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