It’s time once again for our Valentine Books Marathon. Valentine’s Day evokes all types of emotion, so we at HOPress-Shorehouse Books want you to know we have a book for whatever it is you feel on Valentine’s Day. Send a little love to our authors and our HOPress-Shorehouse Books author friends. These are not all our authors, ast we would need a few pages to list all. These are the most recent works. We promise they will make you laugh, cry, or even tremble with fear. Valentine’s Day is not all about the mushy romance stuff. Yep, that’s my literary description. No, sometimes it’s also about the relationships between friends, our children or maybe our pets. So, a sampling of books to boost your love life—no matter who you love in your life from HumorOutcasts Press-Shorehouse Books and our HOPress friends (Check out all the authors on their author page at HOPress-ShorehouseBooks). ALSO, spring of 2016 is going to be a bang of a season for HOPress-Shorehouse Books. So many fun and interesting authors who are ready to dazzle you! Stay tuned!
OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A Collection of Library Humor by Roz Warren
Sometimes, we are just in love with books! And who better to encourage that love than a librarian. There are eight million stories at your local public library — and not all of them are in the books! Join humorist Roz Warren (“the world’s funniest librarian”) for a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at library life. What really goes on behind the circulation desk? And in the stacks? Roz, who writes for everyone from the New York Times to the Funny Times, tells all! What’s the single most stolen item in any public library? What’s the strangest bookmark ever left in a library book? What’s the lamest excuse ever given for not returning a DVD on time? And what does your favorite librarian REALLY think of you? In twenty entertaining essays, you’ll meet librarians fighting crime, partying with porn stars, coping with impossible patrons, locating hard-to-find books and saving the world. The most closely guarded library secrets will be revealed. You’ll never look at your local public library the same way again!
Life offers us plenty of opportunities. We construct our life plan—our Plan A, but life is never so simple. It tests us with setbacks, dead ends, hellos and good-byes. To put it simply: Sometimes, we get stuck. However, The Promise in Plan B confronts fears about these changes and obstacles and encourages readers to develop a new life path. This book is grounded in the reality that life tends to be a series of interruptions, and we each possess a wealth of resources to initiate, investigate, and recreate the way we travel through our shifting courses. Unlike predictable job skills, these resources emphasize resilience, courage, imagination, humor, curiosity, and more.
Author Mary Farr includes personal stories and profiles of people from all walks of life who have faced challenges, despair and unforeseen obstacles but in the midst of the turmoil recognized their Plan B. This book explores themes of grace and gratitude seasoned with a generous dose of wit. Each chapter includes a Consider This section which contains questions and observations designed to encourage readers to open their hearts to new ideas. Mary also added journaling pages at the end of the book for those who would rather explore their reflections solo.
SHOWERING WITH NANA: Confessions of a Serial Killer Caregiver by Cathy Sikorski
This book proves that we all need someone to look out for us and that is the definition of love. Love. What happens when a two–year-old and a 92-year-old join forces and conspire against their primary caregiver? The picture is at times not pretty, but it’s always heartwarming and witty. Elder care attorney Cathy Sikorski penned this memoir about her days as a stay-at-home mom whose life is turned upside down when her Nana moves in. In between the adventures and misadventures that ensue when the toddler and grandmother become allies, Sikorski learns about patience, the importance of humor and the joy that results from a well-deserved nap.
MORE SCRIPTURE SCRIBBLES: CARTOONS FROM THE CHOIR LOFT You gotta love Faith, and this comes through loud and clear with this follow-up cartoon gem from Phillip Dillman. His first book, Scripture Scribbles: Cartoons from the Choir Loft clearly tickled the funny bone in people of all faiths. His drawings might at times be irreverent, but they always demonstrate that Dillman is above all a man of faith. Dillman sings in his church choir and sketches cartoons about the day’s sermon. His scripture scribbles, which are conceptualized and drawn in a span of about 15 minutes, add a humorous twist and perhaps a bit more appreciation to the traditional Bible stories.
OPERA FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE IT by Kathy Minicozzi
It’s dramatic, filled with emotion and at times pretty comical! Welcome to the world of opera! Opera might be one of the greatest of the performing arts, but it is also inherently funny. Who is more qualified to find the humor in opera than someone who has sung it for many years? Kathy Minicozzi strips away the boring, stuffy dignity and false glamour that people have imposed on opera for centuries and, like someone poking innocent fun at a good friend, spews plenty of knee-slapping, eye-watering hilarity. In between the laughs, the author manages to drop real information, not only about opera itself but about the lives of the singers who perform it.
This humor book is a collection of hilarious essays on parenting in the era of Facebook and texting. If you’re a parent – or just thinking about making arguably the biggest mistake of your life by starting a family – then YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE may make you a better parent. Probably not. In fact, I’m laying 10-to-1 odds it won’t. But you never know. Whether you’re the parent of a toddler, a middle schooler or a college sophomore, you’ll find innovative parenting strategies the author has tried – all with hilariously disastrous results. If you’re looking for a humor book that looks at the funny side of trying to parent children intent on driving you insane, you’ve found it. As the father of high-spirited, rambunctious daughters, Tim Jones, author of the popular humor blog View From The Bleachers, playfully shares pearls of parenting wisdom honed from futilely trying to understand the mysterious minds of kids. If you happen to have figured it out, could you give him a call? He’d really appreciate it.
Love of heritage, culture and country is one of our strongest emotional bonds and Michael Harris lays out his arguments for the proliferation and existence of Israel. Fascinating book that has created a huge buzz. It often happens in the middle of an otherwise pleasant day — you’re shopping, or walking across a college campus, and you encounter them. They’re holding signs that claim Israel is an “apartheid state” and charge Israel with committing “genocide” against Palestinians. They’re calling for boycotts against Israeli products, and divestment from companies that do business with Israel.
You know supporting Israel is the right thing to do. And you’re not alone. For decades, polls have shown a large plurality, usually a majority, of Americans back Israel. But here’s the problem: you don’t know how to respond – or if you even should – to these Israel haters.
That’s where this book comes in. Imagine some of the key points from Alan Dershowitz’s authoritative volume, The Case For Israel–as it might be delivered by Bill Maher. All the information you need in this street fight of words, but delivered in a light and accessible way, with satirical humor. So the next time you encounter a group of Israel-hating extremists, you’ll be armed with the facts – and the techniques to apply them with skill and confidence.
eDATING THE OLD SCHOOL WAY: A Comedic Guide to Online Dating by Maura Stone From the author of the comedy, “Five-Star FLEECING,” comes a parody about online dating that’ll make you gasp in laughter and horror at the same time: eDating the Old School Way. Clear, concise and scathing, this book hysterically cuts to the core and introduces the parade of characters who populate internet dating sites, e.g., catfish, Damaged Goods, the Crazy Lady, zombies and escorts. Novices as well as jaded
ABOVE THE FRIES by John Chamberlin Okay, it’s not a romance, but John Chamberlin LOVES fair play, good driving, and of course, Pittsburgh. So, it’s a love story. Everything “Pittsburgh” has fries on it…salads, sandwiches whatever! This book is a culmination of silly, stupid and ign’ernt stories of jagoffery from the Pittsburgh blog, YaJagoff.com. For those who are not familiar with term Jagoff, it refers to stupid politicians, awful sports officials, dumb criminals, bad drivers, ignorant people and so on. However, it is not a swear word, and in fact, it is sometimes used as a term of endearment. Through this series of rants about “Jagoffs” from all walks of life, Chamberlin writes with passion about Pittsburgh and his love of “The Steel City,” and he has even developed a cadre of worldwide “YaJagoff Catchers” who submit their own rantings from wherever they live, which he posts on his site. If you live in Pittsburgh, lived in Pittsburgh or just love anything Pittsburgh, this is the book for you!
SCOOTER & SKIPPER BLOW THINGS UP! By Con Chapman, Sometimes, there is no stronger tie than that which binds a father to his sons. Well, maybe the one that connects sons to their mother, but that’s different. The father-son relationship is one that hums to mystic chords of foolishness and bravado; a mother comes into the room and suddenly a strain in A minor is heard, and it is time to take a bath and go to bed.
“For men like me, who grew up without brothers, sons are another chance at a boyhood we never knew; a chance to punch your sibling in the arm and not get double-crossed by a two-timing broad for the first time in your life as your sister yells “Mom—he hit me!” down the stairs after she told you to do it!
These stories are an account of my journey through my sons’ first childhood as I experience my second. I’ve changed my kids’ names to the all-purpose generic monickers “Scooter,” the older of the two, and “Skipper” his younger brother, to protect their innocence. The statute of limitations on what some would call arson is apparently quite long.”
These tales of youthful hi-jinx under one dad’s semi-adult supervision will demonstrate for you the truth of the age-old adage:
You’re only young once, but you can remain immature—forever.
ALWAYS, MONTANA and LOVE, MONTANA by Deb Martin-Webster The true epic love story from Deb Martin-Webster. Always, Montana is the sequel to the popular western romance Love, Montana. In this installment, author Deb Martin-Webster reacquaints the reader with the characters who weave the story of Rose and Joe, an epic love that could not be diminished even by death. She also introduces us to new characters who come into Rose’s world and turn it upside down. Twists and turns abound in this tale about the famous Montana Joe and his high-spirited family.
A WALKING SHADOW from Deborah Fezelle and Sherry Yanow . Nothing says love like a great murder mystery with a romantic plot thrown in. The sequel to The Evil that Men Do, A Walking Shadow places Nick McDeare, renowned mystery writer and investigative reporter, in the crosshairs of danger. Nick is engaged to marry Broadway star Jessie Kendle New Year’s Eve. But when Nick discovers the sociopath father of Jessie’s son Anthony faked his own death and is conspiring with a Mafia don to kidnap the boy, he races against time to save him. To protect her, Nick keeps Jessie in the dark, a decision he will regret, even as Jessie deals with ominous backstage sabotage from a shocking source. Mysteries multiply within mysteries against the glittering Broadway backdrop. Before it’s over, the spirit of Nick’s brother, a rescue dog, and a NYPD detective all merge with Nick and Jessie in a deadly climax to rescue Anthony from the shadows. But no one is safe–not even when you think it’s over …
WELCOME TO HEIDI by Heidi Clements Hey, this book has everything from dating and career advice to Hollywood “Magic.” If your loved one wants to laugh… If you ever wondered what 50 would look like on a former alcoholic tattooed shoe addict who eats cake out of her garbage can and secretly prays to her vagina to die on a regular basis – well wonder no more and Welcome to Heidi. This collection of stories culled from over 300 blogs and rewritten for your pleasure will take readers on a journey they never expected and perhaps never knew they wanted to go on.
From dating, to how to tame Jewish hair, getting a pot license at 52, and surviving what is perhaps the worst Hollywood job ever – Welcome To Heidi will remind you to laugh at life’s most inane moments – even when those moments are happening to you.
Welcome To Heidi says everything you wish you could say but can’t and proves that having it all is possible – as long as the “all” is shoes. Take a trip inside the mind of a sarcastic, dysmorphic, slightly mental, completely fashion addicted, single woman who’s trying to live the second half of her life with zero apologies and massive debt.
DIVORCE AFTER DEATH. A WIDOW’S MEMOIR by Concha Alborg Concha Alborg didn’t think that anything could hurt her more than the death of her husband from cancer, but hours after his death she learned how wrong she was. Within days of being made a widow, this Spanish College Professor discovered that her marriage and her husband were not what she had envisioned. With a unique point of view, due to her bi-cultural background, and a self-deprecating humor, she takes us on a personal journey. Her strength and determination to build a new life led her down a path that allowed her to reject the veil of widowhood and instead embrace a life of happiness, love and acceptance.
STAND UP AND BE A LADY by Robin Savage. Hey, stand up comedy is a kind of love! Stand Up and Be A Lady is a book of essays and short stories written by Robin Savage that range from personal experiences of performing stand up comedy in non-traditional places such as art galleries and nudist resorts to dealing with unidentified excrement on a grocery store floor while shopping with her children. Robin also brings her alter egos, Cathy Gainer and Sienna into the mix in this ever-changing 16 chapters of comedy and weirdness. A portion of the royalties will be donated to the International Essential Tremor Foundation
SUKI by CF Winn Life offers one guarantee…death. SUKI tells the story of Savannah, an independent go getter, who allows fear to keep her from being completely happy, and Dwayne, a softhearted ex-Marine with a talent for creativity. The couple is destined to find each other and carry out a preordained agreement made long before their human feet enter this Earthly plane. Their connection is tangible and their lives easy – until they are presented with one challenge that shakes them to their cores.
A grocery store can’t expect repeat business if its checkers unleash Armageddon. This truism governs Debbie Devil, dedicated supermarket checker and horny, estranged wife of Satan. Debbie sets her sights on Joe Thorvald, a God-fearing, Lutheran. If she can get him to eat a mushroom his soul and his hunky body will be hers.
And we can’t forget our furry friends:
A CANINE’S GUIDE TO THE GOOD LIFE by Frankie, Lulu and friends. No this is not romantic love, but we always give a portion of our royalties to SPCA when this book sells. So, it is a book about love. You’ll love this short tail-wagging tale from two pooches who’ve been around the block with and without a leash. Frankie and LuLu tell it like it is when it comes to reining in an owner and getting the upper paw. You’ll smile, you’ll cringe and you just might bark out loud as these two intuitive mutts demonstrate that you don’t need a pedigree to be top dog.