The Year In Luck

lucky

The end of a year always gets me thinking about luck. Why, for instance, does some guy win a multi-million dollar lottery and only two days later finds the love of his life, and that woman turns out to be thirty years younger than him? That has to be luck.

Despite 2015 being a year that was occasionally micro-brew-tal (I blame the Seahawks) I did not appear in a news story including the phrase “alcohol might have been a factor”. I didn’t slip in the kitchen and land on knives lying upright in a dishwasher, like a person in England did (from now on I’m washing all my knives by putting them in the toilet and flushing). Again, this must be luck.

Last month I brought our car into Les Schwab to fix a flat tire. The guys working there noticed that there was no oil in the engine, thereby saving me from destroying my engine. Why did that happen? It’s not because I give back to the community (unless taking the recycling to the curb each week counts). So it has to be luck. But how does it arrive?

My theory is that some person or group channels it into you. They somehow create a funnel into your life, Matrix style. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but a few years ago I heard Chuck Norris talking about having a spirit guide. And now he’s selling this autographed poster on his website for $108.95:

norris

You know you’re lucky when you’ve only appeared in B-rate films, but your autograph somehow becomes an indisputable $100 value.

So where does my luck come from? Well, I think the wonderful people who read and write for this site form a big part of my funnel. So happy new year all! May your 2016 be a lucky one. Remember to put engine oil in your car this year.

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5 thoughts on “The Year In Luck”

  1. If I’m such a good luck channeler, why doesn’t some of it stick to me? 😉

  2. When my daughter was in her teens and college, I always thought it was a lucky year if I didn’t get a call that started with the sentence, “Mom, I have a situation…”

    1. Even worse be a calling saying she had a situation involving The Situation (that guy from Jersey Shore). Happy new year and many thanks Donna.

  3. Fortune, they say, favors the brave—and you, sir, have a brave heart. Thanks for risking tons of hate mail with your bold satire. Keep it comin’.

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